Counting Blessings

Just because, here are 5 highlights of my 2005:

  • Alec moving to Singapore, after one and a half years of us living on different continents.
  • Having an awesome birthday. For once, lots of people actually remembered, and I attended one of the best gigs of my life.
  • My best friend Russ visiting me in Singapore. Every moment of our time together was great but one thing that made me especially happy was dancing to the Scratch Perverts at Zouk together – they were the DJs we saw the first time we went clubbing together, on our first visit to a very newly-opened Fabric, having just met each other in the first week of our first year of university. Six years later, so much had changed for us but the important things hadn’t.
  • Not having cancer really rocked, and the outpouring of concern I received from strangers and friends alike touched me deeply.
  • An amazing holiday to London, Norway and Germany, which had the perfect balance between time with dear friends in beloved places and adventures alone in the new and fascinating. The travel journal entries are still a work in progress but rereading them fills me with joy.

Other cool things happened to me too, but these stand out. I hope all of you had a good year too, and wish you health, happiness, joy and love in the next. :)

Not My 2005 Albums List

So yeah, it’s been pretty quiet here lately while I’m working on that year-end album list. It’s always a bit of a struggle to write about music when your music writing sucks.

But I thought I might as well throw anyone who’s bored a couple of bones in the meantime, while I agonize obsessively over the internal ordering of my top 12. (Yes, 12.)

Here are a few albums which aren’t in there. I’m fully aware that lots of other people love these albums, but for various reasons I’m unable to buy into the hype myself. No attempt has been made in the writing to spare myself any flaming – feel free to enjoy yourself in the comments if you think I’m a grumpy jaded old hatah. :)

  • Wolf Parade – Apologies To The Queen Mary: It’s not that this is a bad album – Dear Sons And Daughters Of Hungry Ghosts only narrowly missed the cut for my 2004 Songs To Thank MP3 Blogs For list, and You Are A Runner And I Am My Father’s Son is pretty good – but it simply doesn’t inflame me with enough passion to warrant a ranking on my list. Even though it’s objectively quite pleasant, I’d be hard-pressed to summon up much enthusiasm for it in a review without having to fake it. It might be something about music with the “Isaac Brock touch” that everyone else likes but I don’t – I’ve never been a Modest Mouse fan and I never understood the acclaim for The Moon And Antarctica either. Apologies To The Queen Mary is better than that album, but I still don’t feel any desire to listen to it very often, and when I do it fades into the background quite quickly.
  • Bloc Party – Silent Alarm: I bought this on the strength of She’s Hearing Voices (another close contender in my 2004 MP3 Blogs song list) but I now think that track was deceptively innovative. The first half of the album just sounds like reheated 90s Britpop and the second half a mishmash of various post-punk influences which move neither my heart, my head nor my feet. There are 2 exceptions – Price Of Gas and Luno have a touch of frenetic beautiful chaos to them – but 3 good songs isn’t what I normally buy albums to hear.
  • Magic Numbers – Magic Numbers: After a couple of listens my only abiding impression is of a lot of tweeness and winsome crooning and easy but utterly forgettable melodies. I think I’d probably have liked this when I was 16 or 17 but I guess my tastes must have moved on since then.
  • Antony And The Johnsons – I Am A Bird Now: I might well be totally alone here but this one really does absolutely nothing for me. How can something so overblown and overdramatic be so deathly dull?
  • Serena Maneesh – Serena Maneesh: I can’t disagree with the reviewers who say this is strongly influenced by MBV’s Isn’t Anything. Serena Maneesh’s self-titled does indeed remind me of that album except, that is, for one small but rather substantial difference – I don’t fall asleep after the first song of Isn’t Anything.
  • Isolee – Wearemonster: I know the omission of this (especially when you soon see which other dance music albums I did include!) is a huge admission of dance music plebness, but I just haven’t listened to it an atmosphere conducive to appreciating it yet. What I gather from the reviews is that this album’s all about the details, and I guess those must be eluding me when I listen to it on my commute. I’m not writing this album off yet – it’s very much loved by people whose taste and genre knowledge I hold in high esteem – but until I take the time to listen to it in a better context than an iPod on a bus, I just don’t think I’ll be able to see the light.

Okay, flame away! :)

Portrait Of Michelle As A Young Dork

I had high hopes that Gizmodo’s Portrait Of The Reader As A Young Dork contest would yield a significant amount of amusement for me, but unfortunately after only 3 entries it appears that an unbeatable contender has already emerged.

(I should clarify that I had no intentions of entering this competition. Sadly, it’s 11 years too late to photograph myself at 14, surfing the web on Lynx and brandishing my self-customized “Internet notebook”, into which I had cut tabs for email addresses, various bookmark categories, a definition page for terms like URL and TCP/IP, and Windows programs I wanted to install in a distant and hallowed future where I would no longer have to dial-up through MS-DOS and surf with green words on a black screen.)

A List Of Lists I Did And Didn’t Do And Will Hopefully Do

Last year I attempted year-end lists for the first time, with only partial success.

I managed Top 5 Singles Of Shamelessness, 9 Songs To Thank MP3 Blogs For, and my top 5 films, but my Six Songs I Really Liked In 2004 But Which Weren’t On Albums In My Albums List (Forthcoming, Seriously!) For Said Year And Which I Haven’t Already Written About list only appeared in May (no, I did NOT spend all those months just typing out that title) and although I wrote a substantial amount of my Top 10 Albums list I never finished it.

This year things are looking tough. I could perhaps manage the Singles Of Shamelessness, but I’m really hard-pressed to pick anything worthy of inhabiting the same list as Incomplete. Mp3 blogs tend to get sidelined by having to spend hours on an office computer. And lastly, new releases probably made up only about 40% of the music I was listening to, sometimes from lack of access and other times from getting stuck in, say, Emmylou Harris’s Wrecking Ball and not leaving for weeks.

Well, this is what I’m going to try this time: I’m going to start from the albums list, which I left till the end last year because it was the hardest and therefore remained IN-COM-PLEEEEETE…and frankly, I don’t know if I can even manage anything else, so we’ll leave it at that!

So there’s lots of music geekery coming up, folks. I bet you never thought of a time you’d miss a photo of a cock and balls sculpted in facial moisturizer, but there you go.

Anointed

Some people see Jesus in a potato chip. Last night, I had my own miraculous encounter when, while squeezing my tube of facial moisturiser, the white gob that came shooting out landed on my finger in the shape of…


Praise the Lord!

‘Tis But A Scratch!

If you like Monty Python, you might get a kick out of this T-shirt at Threadless.

[Oh, if you decide you want to buy anything from the site, I’d really appreciate it if you do it through the above link so that I get a little credit for having referred you to it. Pretty please with sugar (no artificial sweeteners) on top?]

[By the way, I only endorse any online shop if I’ve already used it myself, in case anyone’s about to accuse me of selling out or whatever.]

Addendum: OH MY GOD KILLER BUNNY SLIPPERS!

Subway Stars / KLPHQ / Furniture (Substation, 27 Nov 2005)

I arrived from Resfest too late to see the first band, Life Without Dreams. Subway Stars were up next. Here is the blurb describing Subway Stars:

“Drawing influences from Radiohead, Muse, Coldplay, Travis and Silverchair, The Subway Stars aims to instill a raw sense of emotion towards their listeners, instigating the fact that there is an escape from everyone’s sadness and despair.”

I think the blurb speaks for itself. And indeed, the performance did help Jacob find escape from his sadness and despair – by leaving the venue for a beer break. Let’s move on, shall we?

Next up, KLPHQ. In the online review I’ve read of the gig, and other comments people have made to me in conversation, everyone seems to be under the impression that KLPHQ “almost” stole the show from Furniture. Dude, when it comes to stealing shows KLPHQ were that gig’s Bonnie and Clyde. If you ask me, the show left the stage with KLPHQ, got smuggled across the Causeway and squirrelled away in a Swiss bank account.

But before I can try to describe what impressed me about KLPHQ, I need to first do a ranty prelude about what does not impress me in live post-rock.

I’m always wary of bands who descend into extended jams which go nowhere but simply rely on the usual quiet-loud dichotomies to elicit a response. It’s lazy and derivative and not particularly interesting to listen to unless you’re stoned, in which case the sound of a dripping tap might fascinate you equally. Frankly, rather than suffering through post-rock-by-numbers most fans of long instrumentals with hugely contrasting dynamics would find themselves much better off with some Mahler. But despite this, indie kids will still stand around blissing out to turgid 20-minute dronefests when they would never countenance the same sort of dreck from mainstream US college “jam bands” like Phish or DMB.

So (rant over, thanks for staying with me) the reason KLPHQ impressed me and kept me engaged, and I do realize this is all totally subjective, is that nothing ever felt aimless or over-indulgent about their performance, and they sounded distinctive. The thing about the whole quiet-loud thing is that there are so many kinds of quiet, and so many kinds of loud, and so many ways to get there and move on, so when I hear something which sounds totally lifted from a song by some famous post-rock band it irks me. Thankfully, this never happened with KLPHQ. They were tight without sounding rehearsed, unhurried without becoming tedious, and fucking searing in all the right places. Never a dull moment.

I admit I was tired and hungry by the time Furniture came on which may have affected my enjoyment of their set, but it was the third time I’d seen them live and my opinion of them just hasn’t improved. Feel free to disagree if you were at the gig and think otherwise, perhaps it’s just me?

Back(b)log

Sigh. My original plan to cut down on new blog entries in order to focus on redesigning isn’t really working. I faff around a bit with the redesign, end up elbow-deep in CSS and pissed off at my total lack of visual artistry, and then spend the next couple of hours surfing aimlessly or staring wild-eyed at WebSudoko.

In the meantime, an increasingly long list of stuff I really really wanted to blog about at the time is building up:

  • Antony Gormley’s Asian Field installation, where I finally got to photograph what I was never allowed to capture in the British Museum.
  • Exploring Changi Village and finding Alec a new girlfriend literally off the street.
  • Ricky Yeo’s Portrait Of A Diarist exhibition, which threw me into complete despair at my own travel journal crapness.
  • DJ Marky, MC Stamina and the ever-loyal local drum’n’bass heads setting DXO on fire.
  • Trying to decide whether I liked Me And You And Everyone We Know or whether it was just too damn precious.
  • The joy of watching Ninja Tune animated videos on the big screen when one has previously only seen them on a laptop.
  • Resfest films: Infamy, Shorts One, Cinema Electronica.
  • Madcap Japanese comedy breakbeats with Hifana at Makino.
  • Subway Stars / KLPHQ / Furniture gig at the Substation, solely redeemed for me by KLPHQ’s blistering set.

If you’re particularly interested in my two cents on any one of those topics, please say so and give me an excuse to break my self-imposed semi-gag!

Pap Cheer

While having a cuddle with Alec and prattling on about the various bits of my day, I also mentioned wurh’s recent and rather endearing (yes, really) post about her pap smear.

And then one bit of pap smear humour led to another bit of pap smear humour and soon I was on a roll.

Me: What do you call it when you have a pap smear and it’s really badly done?
Alec: What?
Me: A crap smear! Hahahahaha!
Alec: I think it’s time for you to go home now.
Me: Have you heard of that high-tech kind of smear you can get over your mobile phone? It’s a wap smear! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

[For ease of reading, I’ll present the next few in Q & A form, omitting Alec’s groans and my HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!s.]

Q: What kind of smear does Yoko Ono get?
A: A jap smear!

Q: What kind of smear does L’il Kim get?
A: A rap smear!

Q: What do they call it when the woman falls asleep halfway?
A: A nap smear!

Q: What kind of smear do you get if you slept around a lot when you took a year out from uni?
A: A gap smear!

Q: What do you call a smear which reveals that the woman does actually have a STD?
A: A clap smear!

Me, finally running out of ideas: I’m so funny.
Alec: ……
Me: Why aren’t you hugging me any more?

Welcome To Wankville

There are a lot of condos with stupid names in Singapore, but I do think this one takes the cake.