While having a cuddle with Alec and prattling on about the various bits of my day, I also mentioned wurh’s recent and rather endearing (yes, really) post about her pap smear.
And then one bit of pap smear humour led to another bit of pap smear humour and soon I was on a roll.
Me: What do you call it when you have a pap smear and it’s really badly done?
Alec: What?
Me: A crap smear! Hahahahaha!
Alec: I think it’s time for you to go home now.
Me: Have you heard of that high-tech kind of smear you can get over your mobile phone? It’s a wap smear! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
[For ease of reading, I’ll present the next few in Q & A form, omitting Alec’s groans and my HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!s.]
Q: What kind of smear does Yoko Ono get?
A: A jap smear!
Q: What kind of smear does L’il Kim get?
A: A rap smear!
Q: What do they call it when the woman falls asleep halfway?
A: A nap smear!
Q: What kind of smear do you get if you slept around a lot when you took a year out from uni?
A: A gap smear!
Q: What do you call a smear which reveals that the woman does actually have a STD?
A: A clap smear!
Me, finally running out of ideas: I’m so funny.
Alec: ……
Me: Why aren’t you hugging me any more?