Spoons, Forks And Sculpture

For Nabokov fans, this random gem from a Craig Raine article in the Guardian about Ron Mueck’s current Edinburgh exhibition:

Vladimir Nabokov once asked his protégé, Alfred Appel, how academe was weathering a period of widespread student unrest in the 1960s. Appel reported that things at his university were quiet: a nun had complained that couples were “spooning” at the back of lectures. Nabokov pounced: “You should have told her to thank God they weren’t forking.”

I’d love to go to this exhibition. There were only a few Ron Mueck pieces in the Saatchi Gallery when I went, but they captured my attention more than skanky beds and stuffed sharks.

He Was As Long As His Song Names

While I try to find the time to write about the Bangkok tranny who laughed out loud at the immensity of my hips, and the go-go boys who played soccer with their dicks, you may wish to partake of some rather more refined knob jokes. I present to you hipster erotica:

“Sufjan Stevens and I sat on the edge of my bed and talked for hours about everything. It sounds dumb to say it, but he actually gets me. He said that I was one of the most genuine people he’d ever met, and that I was actually cool, not like one of those people who obviously wants to be cool, but who just is, like a coolness that comes from deep within and is as much a refutation of cool as an embrace of it.”

Eat Pretzel. Invade Iraq.

This is possibly the funniest, most original thing I have ever read at Defective Yeti. Which, in the context of the last couple years’ worth of funny, original Defective Yeti posts, is really saying something.

> WEAR FLIGHTSUIT
You put on the flightsuit.

> SAY “MISSION ACCOMPLISHED”
“Mission accomplished.”

> EXAMINE MISSION
The mission is not accomplished.

[Note: I don’t know if this will be as funny if you’ve never played text-based computer adventure games.]

Portrait Of Michelle As A Young Dork

I had high hopes that Gizmodo’s Portrait Of The Reader As A Young Dork contest would yield a significant amount of amusement for me, but unfortunately after only 3 entries it appears that an unbeatable contender has already emerged.

(I should clarify that I had no intentions of entering this competition. Sadly, it’s 11 years too late to photograph myself at 14, surfing the web on Lynx and brandishing my self-customized “Internet notebook”, into which I had cut tabs for email addresses, various bookmark categories, a definition page for terms like URL and TCP/IP, and Windows programs I wanted to install in a distant and hallowed future where I would no longer have to dial-up through MS-DOS and surf with green words on a black screen.)

‘Tis But A Scratch!

If you like Monty Python, you might get a kick out of this T-shirt at Threadless.

[Oh, if you decide you want to buy anything from the site, I’d really appreciate it if you do it through the above link so that I get a little credit for having referred you to it. Pretty please with sugar (no artificial sweeteners) on top?]

[By the way, I only endorse any online shop if I’ve already used it myself, in case anyone’s about to accuse me of selling out or whatever.]

Addendum: OH MY GOD KILLER BUNNY SLIPPERS!

Just A Minute From My Last Day

I did want to keep the travel entries going chronologically, but as Russ was driving me to the airport on my last day, we listened to Just A Minute in the car.

And if I wait till the last day’s journal entry to write about that, you’ll all miss the opportunity to hear Paul Merton talk on Sudoku for 59 seconds without the slightest idea what it is. Get there before a new show replaces it on Monday night!

We Interrupt Your Normal Programming For This Advertising Broadcast

Django’s is doing free overseas shipping for all new items from now till 16 June – a pretty damn good deal for anyone who, like me, is unwilling to pay 40 Singapore dollars (or over 15 pounds in England) for most of the albums I want.

If you do end up buying something from them (they also sell vinyls and DVDs), I’d really appreciate it if you could enter my email address – ineffableme(at)rockfan(dot)com – as your referrer when you sign up. I’ve had 36 largely problem-free transactions with them since 2000 (2 small mistakes were REALLY well dealt with) so I’m not pimping them just to get referral credits, I do actually think they’re a reliable affordable source of music for anyone who normally has to pay high import prices for the music/movies they like.

One, Two, Three, Four…

…I declare Kitten War!

If there’s a kitten cuter than Squee in the universe, I fear I may not survive seeing it.

Addendum: a slightly odd conversation I had with Alec last night.

Me: At this Kitten War site there’s a kitten that’s shooooooo cute! It’s called Squee! There’s another kitten called Sox that’s cute too but there’s something special about Squee that I really like.
Alec, eyes half glazed over: So, is Squee a black kitten?
Me, surprised: Yes! How’d you guess that?
Alec: Well, in all these contests, you always like the black one.

[To put things in context, here are some recent reality TV favourites of mine: Fantasia, LaToya, Jennifer, George (LOVED all of them in American Idol 3), Uchenna and Joyce (Amazing Race), first Anwar and then Vonzell after Anwar got boring (American Idol 4).]