Eat Pretzel. Invade Iraq.

This is possibly the funniest, most original thing I have ever read at Defective Yeti. Which, in the context of the last couple years’ worth of funny, original Defective Yeti posts, is really saying something.

You put on the flightsuit.

“Mission accomplished.”

The mission is not accomplished.

[Note: I don’t know if this will be as funny if you’ve never played text-based computer adventure games.]


  1. OMFG I’m so glad for this link. I played text-based adventure games to death in my teenage years!! Goodness. Defective Yeti has a very good grasp of the parsing in such games (The fact that I know what “parsing” is should be an indicator of how into text adventures I was…)

  2. Don: I also loved what one of the commenters wrote – “If Bush is so in the dark, why hasn’t he been eaten by a Grue?”

  3. I miss really miss adventure games (although the ones with the text parsers were mostly before my time). I’m eagerly anticipating the return of Sam & Max. Should be out in a few months time.

  4. here’s one called Peasant Quest. it’sa tribute to all the old sierra adventure games. you assume the role of a peasant named Rather Dashing seeking revenge on Trogdor who just burninated your house along with everything you own.

    the best adventure game i’ve ever played though, has to be grim fandango, for its superb storyline and humour!

  5. Sam & Max are coming back? That’s really good to hear. I’ve got the original Sam & Max CD-Rom (which still works!) if anyone wants to play it. I’ve also got Day of the Tentacle around here somewhere. Ah… LucasArts. No one beats them for sheer humour. I loved Sierra as well. Still have the complete collection of Quest for Glory and King’s Quest somewhere around here, I just know it.

  6. Dom: Would the original Sam & Max CD-ROM still be playable at today’s computer speeds, or do you have to use an emulator-thingummy? Actually, don’t even answer that. Please don’t. For the sake of my career.

    Terence: That goes for you too. If this freaking blog never gets redesigned because of Peasant Quest, it’s totally your fault.

    James: Can you please come to Singapore and visit Alec, so that I can get you to install Tumblepop on my computer again? Cheers.

  7. There’s a new Kings Quest on the way as well. :)

    You do need an emulator for the old Lucas Arts games and it’s called [url=]SCUMMVM[/url].

    May I also recommend the rather excellent blog of [url=]Ron Gilbert[/url].

    Had a look for Tumblepop just now but trying to find individual roms nowadays is like trying to find a free tentacle hentai site (or so I’m told).

  8. Mich: Yes, James is correct. You need the SCUMMVM emulator for the LucasArts game. It worked rather well when I was in my final year in uni when I was still using Windows 98. And if you haven’t played Monkey Island, also by LucasArts, you haven’t lived.

    And I know all about the effects of computer games. They almost killed my PSLE, O Levels and A Levels. All different games, of course.

    James: A new Kings Quest too? Wow! :) You’re a man after my own heart.

    Here’s a link on Profanity in Text Adventures (with screenshots!) which I just happened to come across today.

  9. I saw a Loderunner ROM today Michelle. You like that game right? Running it should be pretty simple. Download these two files.

    Unzip the first one. Run Visual Boy Advance .exe. Select File, Open and select the

    Hopefully you’ll have more success than I did. Can’t get past the first level. I’ve always been dreadful at Loderunner. Any game where you can’t shoot stuff (or suck up stuff with a vacuum) just isn’t my bag.

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