Going Native

Me: So before I bought the camera, we walked around all the different shops selling it to compare prices, and see who would throw in more extra stuff.
Alec: Like a free travel bag?
Me: No!
Alec, stifling laughter: Or, say, a free radio alarm clock?
Me: NO! Relevant stuff like CompactFlash memory cards!
Alec, chortling out loud: But wouldn’t you prefer a free calculator watch?
Me: RRRROWR.

Even given the fact that Alec reads Talking Cock more than I do, the scary extent to which he is in touch with the Singaporean psyche still suggests he has not actually been in Ireland these past few months, but has instead been living a secret existence in a 3-room flat in Toa Payoh.

Even More Un-PC Than Me

I was discussing upcoming holiday plans with Alec, specifically the Eastern Europe part of the trip. We were considering the cost viability of a railpass by trying to see if all the places we wanted to see were actually on good train routes.

Alec: Well, we all know you can definitely get to Auschwitz by train!
Me: ……
Alec: ……
Me: Okay, next topic of conversation.

Friendly Party People

Drunk man on street outside our flat: All you part-y people ‘earin’ me I wan’ ya to say BOO!
Me, in bedroom/Tamara, in kitchen (simultaneously): BOO!

I like our flat. It’s friendly.

Hall Chronicles: Theology Students

Being around theology students makes life that little bit more surreal. Two conversational snippets with my hallmate Stefan:

Me: You look troubled.
Stefan: Yes, I am trying to write an essay. The Trinity, it is annoying me.

*

Me: So how’s the studying for ancient Greek going?
Stefan: Oh, I decided to focus on human salvation instead today. I thought it was more important.

Michelle Vs Photocopier…FIGHT!

Me: “COPY”
Photocopier: ADD TONER. DO YOU NEED HELP IN ADDING TONER?
Me: “YES”
Photocopier: PRESS “INFO” FOR HELP IN ADDING TONER
Me: “INFO”
Photocopier: [extremely complex instructions beginning with OPEN FRONT COVER and moving on to tasks such as configuration of nuclear reactor, retrieval of lost space probe, removal of own appendix with dessert spoon…]
Me: “CANCEL”
Photocopier: [extremely complex instructions beginning with OPEN FRONT COVER and moving on to tasks such as configuration of nuclear reactor, retrieval of lost space probe, removal of own appendix with dessert spoon…]
Me, exasperated: “NO”
Photocopier: ADD TONER.
Me, giving up but wilful: “NO” (!)
Photocopier: ADD TONER. (!)
Me, starting to find this funny: “NO” (!!!)
Photocopier: ADD TONER. (!!!)
Me, in fits of laughter: Interactive technology my arse!

(Other people present make timid expressions of concern before running away from strange girl.)

Assinine

In my hall’s somewhat lacklustre attempt to celebrate St George’s Day, there was bickering over finding someone to play God Save The Queen on the piano.

Me: Tay, God made you more musically talented than me. You should play it.
Tay: God also gave me a fiiiiine ass to sit on, and that’s what I’m doing right now. (plonks himself down in my seat)
Me: Fine. So what if I say God also gave me a fiiiiine ass to sit on, and I’m also gonna sit on it right now? (I plonk myself down)
Tay: Well your ass ain’t finer than mine.
Me: Oh yes it is.
Tay: Oh no it’s not.
Me: Well my ass can kick your ass’s ass!

So much for my brilliant legal mind and rapier wit.

The Rub

From a phone conversation with Ida:

Ida: I left most of my clothes in London so I have nothing to wear tonight.
Me: Borrow something from one of your sisters?
Ida: I can’t, my sisters don’t dress like sluts.

Rangy

Conversational fragment from Thursday night:

Sister, entering room: Where’d you go earlier tonight?
Me, lounging on the bed: Lindy-hopping.
Sister: What are you listening to?
Me: The Dismemberment Plan.
Sister: What are you reading?
Me: Hart, The Concept Of Law.
Sister: I’ll say this for you, Mich, you’ve got range.

Rick Astley Rut / Regeneration (Pat Barker)

(NoBloggerLove post 3: Friday 6 July)

Conversational snippet, which proves that Wednesday night’s clubbing ordeal was, at least, not all for naught:

Friend: Michelle, I just feel like I’m in a rut.
Me: _____, things could be worse. At least you weren’t dancing to Rick Astley on the platform at Mambo Night, for example.
Friend: You have a point. I feel better now.

* * *

(NoBloggerLove post 4: Saturday 7 July)

Regeneration is one of those books that makes me want to slap myself on the head after finishing it.

There’s a kind of seething frustration, a sort of “I can’t believe I spent all these years not having read Regeneration” sense of annoyed wonder at this book that I’ve deprived myself the pleasure of over a significant period of time, either through ignorance or apathy.

It happens occasionally enough to be just about right – any more frequently, and I’d worry about my ignorance; any less frequently, and I might start to miss that exciting feeling of making a find. It last happened some time in January, I think, when I heard Paul Simon’s Graceland for the first time, and again, there was this feeling, this vexation, that the rest of the world had spent years listening to Graceland, and I’d stupidly missed out.

If, like me, you like war poetry, especially Siegfried Sassoon and Wilfred Owen, and think the idea of being a fly on the wall in the hospital where they met and where Sassoon received “treatment” for his opposition to WWI is intriguing; if you enjoy subtle, intelligent writing somewhat in the vein of The Remains Of The Day, which is, in my opinion, a showcase of the art of saying just enough and no more, and if you haven’t read Regeneration (I don’t know about the other two books in the trilogy yet, but I’ll definitely get to them ASAP), then you might just be heading for a slap on the head.

Raven Lunatic

Last night, while we were watching an X-Files episode involving ravens (Chimera), Michael walked into the TV room halfway through the show.

Shortly after Michael came in, when the camera focused on a mirror (which basically meant a raven was going to appear and caw, followed by some dreadful blurred monster thing), I went “Aaaark! Aaaark!”, which was supposed to be a raven imitation.

Mary (to Michael): Oh, that’s something related to the show. She hasn’t just gone completely mad.

Michael: Thank God. I was about to start baaaaing just so she’d feel someone understood her.

I love my hallmates.