Gyrating For Jesus: A Pow-Ka-Leow Guide To Sun Ho’s Greatest “Hits”
It’s easy to jump to conclusions about the guilt of the City Harvest Church (CHC) leaders, but I’m not going to do that here. Instead, I’ve decided to engage in the admittedly snarkastic exercise of listening to every English release by Sun Ho which I could find on Youtube, to see if the quality, content and success of her music could ever have justified the expenditure of S$23 million, authorized or not.
(For those unfamiliar with the backstory, City Harvest is a hugely rich megachurch in Singapore, founded by pastor Kong Hee and his wife Sun Ho (once described as a “music pastor”). Several of its leaders, including Kong Hee, have just been charged with committing criminal breaches of trust and falsifying accounts regarding the use of church funds. In particular, S$23 million worth of church funds was purportedly misused to fund the “Crossover Project”, an initiative started by Kong Hee and Sun Ho to use Sun’s secular music to reach out to non-Christians. Sun has been trying to launch a US-based secular music career since 2003.)
#1 Dance Hits Which You’d Never Remember Dancing To
Given that you can usually find almost anything ever committed to recordable media on Youtube on the basis that someone somewhere somehow thought it was significant enough to upload and share with the world, I was surprised to discover no trace there whatsoever of Sun’s debut American single, “Where Did Love Go”. For a song produced by David Foster which reached #1 on Billboard’s Hot Dance Club Play “Breakout” Chart in 2003, its “breakout” impact appears to have been short-lived. Sun’s management should address this problem by making it available on Youtube ASAP – it could, after all, rake in a few hundred accidental views from non-Christian lazy typists who were looking for the Supremes’ classic.
After this disappointing start, I was relieved to find some clues as to what Sun’s other “#1 dance hits” may have sounded like: one remix of “One With You”, two of “Without Love”, one use of “Gone” as backing track to an optimistically-titled montage of “international star Sun Ho” at US Fashion Week 2006, and three – wow, three! – remixes of Ends of the Earth.
There is little to be said about any of these songs. The tunes are forgettable, Sun’s vocals insipid, none of the songs have any discernable lyrical connections with Christian beliefs or morality beyond pedestrian references to love, and whether you like them or not will largely depend on your tastes in dance music and the abilities of the producer/remixer. One also wonders why anyone would see generic Eurodance as a good way of spreading the gospel in the US music industry in the first place. Perhaps the Crossover Project thought this is what gay clubbers like listening to.
Sadly, we’ve already reached the high point of Sun’s US chart success. But let us not waste any more time here. The low points yet to come are far more entertaining.
In God We Thrust: “China Wine” (2007)
“China Wine” was released in 2007, the same year that the misuse of funds allegedly began. I couldn’t possibly guess at how people with actual Caribbean music credibility like Wyclef Jean, Tony Matterhorn and Elephant Man were recruited to collaborate on the song, or why a famous MV director like Wayne Isham would have any interest in doing the video. I guess they must all have been big fans of Sun’s Eurodance work.
(It’s easier to appreciate the WTFness of this song if you’re already familiar with certain dancehall music references, so let me quickly explain that “wine” in the dancehall context doesn’t refer to the Blood of Christ but to gyration of the hips, and that the “dutty wine” is a well-known dance move where you whip your hair around while gyrating your hips.)
“In China,” Sun claims, “we luv da dutty wine so much dat we mix it with de China wine”. So basically, the song is about cross-cultural hip-gyrating. I’m not seeing a clear Christian connection there, but I’m sure I’ll figure it out if I think hard enough – oh hey, maybe this is how Jesus partied it up at the wedding in Cana! CANA WINE! CANA WINE!
Elsewhere in the song, Sun exhorts girls to “sing from the hoo-has”, Tony Matterhorn namedrops fashion designer Ed Hardy (Sun’s company is the exclusive distributor of Ed Hardy clothing in Singapore), and Elephant Man suggests that Sun’s gyratory skills (“so she do it fast, now she do it slow”) can make something dead grow. He is probably not referring to the Resurrection.
Out of the clusterfuck of nonsequiturs that make up this song, the biggest one may be why the hell a Singaporean is calling herself “Geisha” to sing a song about how much “we” in “China” love to dutty wine. Perhaps Sun hit her head after being slain in the Spirit one day and it affected her geographical knowledge.
They Call It Murrrrdaaaa[1. Apologies to Damian Marley and Ini Kamoze for associating them with this bilge.]: “Mr Bill” (2009)
It is baffling to think that anyone looking back at “China Wine” two years later could have regarded reggae as an ideal musical direction for Sun to continue in, but maybe Wyclef’s weed[2. c.f. Tony Matterhorn’s “China Wine” verse where he asks Wyclef to “passa blem”.] was just that good. “Mr Bill” is certainly more mellow than “China Wine” – except, of course, for some minor lyrical hostility involving Sun’s decidedly unmellow impulses to murder her cheating man.
Still rather confused about exactly where she is from in Asia, Sun aka “Geisha” begins the video by berating her man in Mandarin for lying to her. At times during the song, her attempts to deliver her lines with a ragga-tinged lilt are so inept that she might as well be speaking in tongues. And the less said about her dancing the better, except for letting you know that in or around the same time that this song came out, she was training with superfamous choreographer Marty Kudelka in her lavish Hollywood Hills home. Let’s add “groove” to the list of things that S$23 million still can’t buy, although it’s nice to know that Sun enjoyed 29,000 square feet (at US$20,000/month) worth of space to practice her flailing in.
Fakey Gaga: “Fancy Free” (2009)
Following the disappointing failure of “China Wine” and “Mr Bill” to get the world pelvic thrusting for Christ, Project Crossover must have come up with a new strategy for “Fancy Free” to make its mark in a 2009 pop music landscape dominated by Lady Gaga. But simply writing a knockoff Gaga song is for poor schmucks who don’t have S$23 million to spend. If you’re funded by Project Crossover, on the other hand, you can also get what looks like a pretty expensive video directed by a hot shot MV director who’s already done Gaga videos, and employ Gaga’s then-choreographer Laurieann Gibson, just to leave nothing to chance.
Pity about the inconvenient fact that Sun ain’t Gaga. After several years of trying to make it in the American music industry, there’s still nothing that distinguishes “Fancy Free” from a Paris Hilton vanity project, except that the Hiltons never promised their hotel guests that no Hilton revenues were used to fund Paris’s singing career.[3. ”In 2003, an individual alleged in the media that the charity was funding Sun Ho’s music career. However, this individual eventually issued a public apology and retracted his allegations. Facing media scrutiny, City Harvest issued press statements, as well as representations to its church members, that they had not funded Sun Ho’s career.” – Asiaone]
And if you were hoping that Christian messages in Sun’s music might finally have emerged by now, with “fancy free” possibly referring to some sort of detachment from material goods, you obviously need to bone up on your core megachurch doctrines. Sun wakes up “feeling like a millionaire”! Which is pretty easy if you’re either waking up in a LA mansion or a S$9.3m Sentosa Cove penthouse!
Cringeworthy hubris reaches its peak when Sun trills “Feels just like I’m on a shooting star / Made my wish to be a superstar”. It’s like saying you wish you could buy a Birkin when you can already afford to buy 2,300 of them, if you could only find a shop that respected you enough to sell them to you. Also, it appears that even long-ridiculed boy band tropes like rhyming “fire” with “desire” are too sophisticated for a song which rhymes “star” with……”star”.
A Conclusion And Some Parting Insults
Pages more could be written to deconstruct the multiple levels of epic fail in Sun Ho’s US music career, but there’s only so much torture I can take and I’m pretty much already at the point of uttering “Eloi, eloi, lama sabachthani?” So I will leave you with two last atrocities, and thank God for small mercies that they are only available in short preview clips. (Things seem to have gone suddenly quiet on the Sun music front just before the initial complaints against CHC surfaced in 2010.)
First up, “Hollaback Girl” oh sorry I meant “Cause A Ruckus” is Sun’s clubbing manifesto. Clad in shades and her “tight wifebeater”, she urges you to “leave your do’s and don’ts at home”. I was under the impression that the 10 Commandments are applicable everywhere, but what do I know, I’m not a pastor’s wife. Sun later contradicts herself with a command to “Do what I do,” which is rather alarming when followed by the tally of “one Tom, two Tom, three Tom, now four”. Which is a worse sin, fornication or bad pronunciation? But don’t worry, Sun, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, unless your US$100,000 media team[4. “In or around April 2009, a plan was conceptualised by Tan Ye Peng, Chew Eng Han, Serina Wee Gek Yin and Tan Shao Yuen Sharon to transfer monies amounting to $600,000 donated by Wahju Hanafi to the Charity’s Building Fund via a “refund” of Building Fund donations into the MPA to meet some funding needs of the Project, which included US$100,000 (S$128,000) to finance a media team from Singapore to publicise and write about Sun Ho’s music career in the United States.” – Asiaone.] uploads your gluttony to Youtube.
Like I said at the start of this post, I am not in a position to judge whether the channelling of S$23 million from CHC funds in support of Sun’s US music career was properly or improperly done. However, after suffering through what that S$23 million might have paid for, I’m inclined to state that even if every single CHC member wrote in their own blood that their tithes should be spent on Sun’s US music career, the question remains how anyone keeping track of this musical turd parade could possibly believe it to be pursuing or achieving the goals of Project Crossover. I have no answer for this question, but perhaps Sun does. Enjoy the last clip.
SHE’S GOOD 4 BLACK FUCKING, THE SLUT !!!
Well…. Like “good” people ought to behave or let say balance investigation on certain subject; after watching some never unfinished Video’s of Ms. Sun — I duly paid and spend my more than 2 two incredible hours watching Ps. Kong Hee Video and I must say… I learned something very interesting and enlightening.
Here is the YouTube links
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DA-AkJzpKmg&feature=youtube_gdata_player
And Part 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g72Mb8wEdcI&feature=youtube_gdata_player
ENJOY!
PS: for those who ‘prefer’ Pastor must wear a suite while preaching and teaching…he is wearing one on both Videos.
@TORAJA,
Most of his claims on the Chinese characters are false. Putting aside the part on Christianity, the way he dissects the characters are totally wrong.
To add on to my previous reply to TORAJA,
In those videos, i notice that whenever he couldn’t get reaction from the audience due to their doubt on his statements, he would quickly shout “Halelujah” to spur up the audience.
Hmm, I wanna say something regarding one issue I see cropping up here and there. I don’t agree with characterizing anyone dancing the way she danced, and wearing what she wore, as a slut. My only issue with it is that taken together with the accompanying songs and videos, it has zero, zilch, nada, nyet connection to any sort of Christian message, and every indication of being a naked grab for secular stardom at any price.
LaughingLikeSiao: Apart from the slut point, I agree with you on the lyrics of Fancy Free and China Wine.
Anonymous and Daniel Food Diary: I would gladly read an analysis of her Chinese songs. Unfortunately I’m not able to do that myself, because I don’t listen to Chinese music so I don’t feel qualified to critique it. And yep, Anonymous has pinpointed the gigantic loophole in the “mass conversion” plan – you need a “mass” of people to like your lousy songs!
John: What content here do you find so offensive that you think fellow Christians cannot handle it? Do the Christians you know find mere words more offensive than the actions of Sun Ho in these music videos?
Benny: Thanks so much. I hope you find enough other stuff you like here to stick around. :)
TORAJA: Well said. I really don’t think God is fazed by a bit of swearing here and there, especially in comparison to, like, wasting $23m in His name, possibly embezzled, on some exceptionally unjoyful noise. Thanks also for the later links to Kong Hee’s preaching.
Shaun: Fine, I’ll settle for a microfibre cloth to clean off the liquid I spewed at the sight of Elaine’s hilarious dancing.
Lc: I like that you express your contrary views in a civil and reasonable manner, and you’re most welcome to continue doing so. That being said, here are my thoughts on that video. Even if her Taiwanese career has attracted stars to join the New Life Church, if that church preaches the prosperity gospel too, then I’m honestly not sure if that’s a good thing for Christianity at all. Secondly, 2 minutes out of the 5.5 minute video is basically Sun and Kong Hee worship, which really doesn’t help all the CHC followers insisting that it isn’t a cult of personality.
Kaos: I have actually tried to put myself in the shoes of CHC members over the past few days. But then I watched the Laws of the Harvest videos and simply could not fathom how anyone with intelligence could accept such repulsive twisting of scripture. So yeah, I’ve kinda failed in my attempt to empathize. I wanna keep trying but am not sure if I can stand to watch any more of Kong Hee’s preaching.
Confused: True, for every ardent CHC supporter there seems to be at least one if not more ex-member(s) telling their side of the story.
tisbloggersmart: Actually the one benefit I think CHC may have brought to Christianity is getting people to consider it in the first place. But ideally, those people would leave CHC for some other church once they’d read the Bible themselves and realized that it’s not about living in penthouses.
25cents: That song never gets old. Most Catholics would still find that video pretty naughty, but it’s not like Madonna took their money to do it or insisted that her career was intended to evangelize.
Vai: Aww, thanks! Please do keep stalking and I’ll be sure not to hold back on the punniness. :)
Trimad: Yep. If I’d found some semblance of Christian message in the songs and videos, I wouldn’t have written this post in the first place.
charles: Dude, WTF? Don’t dilute our totally justifiable snarking on Sun Ho with unnecessary racism, please. Cheers.
Enjoyed the read so much Michelle, keep it up! Regards :-)
Thanks for the kind words. I hope you’ll stick around to read more. :)
@Velium,
“A Chong seemed like a traumatized girl who had self-destructive tendencies n was in huge denial.”
Equally applicable to Sun Ho, don’t you think?
@Michelle,
For a naked grab at pop, secular stardom at any price, she might have been more successful with the kind of world record that first propelled ‘filmstar’ Annabel Chong to fame, although that also seemed so passé by now.
thank you for writing such a funny post, it’s been a long time since I laughed that hard.
wanting to add my opinions too:
unlike her PR makes it sound to be, Billboard Dance Chart is not based on album or song sales. instead, it’s based on how many DJs play your song. which means that no one can buy her songs and she can still top the charts. I’ve also heard that it’s one of the charts that’s the easiest to cheat your way in (you can simply pay 100-or-so DJs to register your song in their playlist and you’ll top the chart), but I’m not going to speculate anything here.
my main concern about the crossover project is this: why Sun? the church has thousands of members, right? why must it be the pastor’s wife who’s “reaching out with her music”? why can’t it be other members who are, you know, less willing to expose their bodies and more willing to work on their vocal chords.
@tisbloggermad (I know it’s a bit of a late reply, but) Jesus did say we should accept the sinners, I don’t think he said we should sin with them. there should be other ways to “reach out to non-Christians” without doing… whatever it is that’s happening here. quality aside, her songs are too sexually-charged and racially-offensive to be spreading Christianity.
Glad you enjoyed the post. :)
Yes, it does seem from other sources out there that you can buy your way onto the Billboard charts pretty easily. One good article I read on the topic was this one by Limpeh, although I wonder why he thinks I’m male!
I think it could never have been anyone other than Sun because of the personality cult thing that seems to thrive in CHC. For example, see that video someone posted earlier in this thread for an example – a significant proportion of it is just Sun + Kong Hee worship!
Football Tonite… “Fuckin’ Rock” – perhaps that is what ‘Rockson will tell his buddy Lawrence… His only buddy in this fuckin’ cyberspace…
Let’s grab some cheese burger…
Rockson perhaps a narcist; my Head Shrinker told me once… If I only have told him about ‘him’…
So, as a believer to my head shrink…. I check and learn what he meant about Narcist…and my good book of Dictionary shows me this after I Google it…
nar·cis·sist [nahr-suh-sist]
noun
1. a person who is overly self-involved, and often vain and selfish.
2. Psychoanalysis . a person who suffers from narcissism, deriving erotic gratification from admiration of his or her own physical or mental attributes.
Also, nar·cist .
Origin:
1920–30; narciss(ism) + -ist
Dictionary.com
Based on the Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2012.
And being used as Plagiarist… I came to my “100%” helper…source. The WIKI…
*Narcissistic personality disorder*
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder[1] in which the individual is described as being excessively preoccupied with issues of personal adequacy, power, prestige and vanity. This condition affects one percent of the population.[2][3] First formulated in 1968, it was historically called megalomania, and it is closely linked to egocentrism.
Symptoms of this disorder include, but are not limited to:
Reacts to criticism with anger, shame, or humiliation
May take advantage of others to reach their own goals
Tends to exaggerate their own importance, achievements, and talents
Imagines unrealistic fantasies of success, beauty, power, intelligence, or romance
Requires constant attention and positive reinforcement from others
Easily becomes jealous
Lacks empathy and disregards the feelings of others
Obsessed with oneself
Mainly pursues selfish goals
Trouble keeping healthy relationships
Is easily hurt and rejected
Sets unrealistic goals
Wants “the best” of everything
Appears as tough-minded or unemotional [4]
WOW… “MIRROR … MIRROR ON THE WALL… WHO IS THE RIGHTOUS PERSON IN THE WORLD…”
“ME… ME… ” said the Mirror… “Whammm…” … “PRANK…” … Crush the Mirror…
Yeah…. It is ME indeed!
ME in Everyone of us.
Is it so easily of us having and possessing the quality of being narcist?
I may never ever spent my 1 cent to someone else let alone learning his teaching and worse damage by his her or their organization.
But having some or at least one quality of the above; “Lacks empathy and disregards the feelings of others” — if something Good, Bad and Ugly happen or cross into our life path…it is so easy for us to pin point our beauty fingers to others and start making our comments….
Very human nature.
What is MY point here???
Perhaps what I am trying to say; SUN HO is One of The Obove type of person describe by my good dictionary that I Googled and exactly my 100% “reliable” WIKI source.
But then… Who Am I? what category type of person I am FIT IN? for this “special case”
HA… Perhaps I may be fit as a believer on what Psalm 1:5-6 says.
I am ON and FOR — ITALY!!! Tonite… Crush that Damn SPAIN!!!
AWESOMEEE. I just laughed out loud reading this in the office. *embarrassing*
Sorry about that! I used to have the same problem while reading Damn You Autocorrect. :D
Why can’t Christian be less **** and respect other religion?
What nonsense that all non Christians will go to hell and you MUST convert them ALL, it’s like saying all whites goes to heaven and the blacks and yellow must be bleached? Nonsense when u read this right?
It’s these intereference and disrespect which made people burn churches elsewhere.
There is a whole can of worms and loopholes in bible and fundamentals of Christian believes, which most non Christian are respectful enought to keep silent on.
Know this, my name is Peter and I WAS a Christian.
God cannot be mocked. He will recompense the guilty on her head. Those who rob God for their lawless deeds will pay dearly.
Michelle, on the eve of the CHC trial, I came back to revisit this glorious piece of blogging. Your animated JC GIF always slays me.