Two Firsts And An Umpteenth

On Wednesday, going to Zouk with Esther and Jeremy:

One, the first song I have ever heard about albinism – Forest Whitaker by Brother Ali, courtesy of Jeremy’s car stereo. Fantastic, but since my normal album sources Django’s and Amazon UK seem unaware of his existence, it looks like I’ll have to go to inconvenient lengths to procure the album.

Two, the first time I’ve seen James Lavelle do a decent(ish) DJ set, since in London he was usually only ever a relaxing but dull break from the mad bonecrushing DnB room in Fabric. This must however be qualified by the fact that I’m a lot more starved for good clubbing over here than I was in London, and the fact that after two jugs of cocktails (Esther, bringing the drinks: “Like my jugs?” Well I thought it was funny) two more were ordered without realizing it was one-for-one hour, cue arrival of four jugs to make a total of six.

My absence at my 9 am lecture the next day, due to popping into Phuture on the way out of the club “just to see what was going on”, realizing there amid mashups of Hey Ya with dancehall that I should just have abandoned James Lavelle hours before, and dancing happily there till half three, was somewhat less of a first though.

Something About Lost In Translation Got Lost In Translation

I detest almost every manifestation of urban Japan I’ve ever seen, but Lost In Translation made even me feel frustrated with how pathetic the characters were in their boredom there. Bill Murray’s character (I can’t remember any of their names despite seeing the film only a few weeks ago) seems incapable of interacting with a Japanese person without barely-disguised derision. Scarlett Johansson’s character just stays in the hotel room the entire day, moping around in panties and looking ill-used.

In a number of scenes, she watches expressionlessly as her husband interacts with various floozy people, and I gather we are meant to feel sympathy for her, a philosophy grad surrounded by idiots. Strange then that in her own conversations with Bill, I never see any more depth in her than the average 16-year-old. Knowing Evelyn Waugh was a man doesn’t make you intellectual, it merely makes you slightly better informed than Adrian Mole when he was 13 and 3/4. There’s only so much enjoyment a film can give me when I feel no sympathy whatsoever for its characters. (And don’t tell me I don’t know what cultural disconnection is, every day in Singapore is pretty much a culturally disconnected day for me.)

Despite what I’ve written here, I don’t actually hate the film. I think it looked and sounded great. The precious 30 seconds where My Bloody Valentine’s Sometimes accompanied a jittery sweep of night and neon were quite possibly my most divine spent in a cinema since the doomed chicken sequence in the opening of City Of God, and okay, the bit near the end of Return Of The King when Legolas a.k.a. Vision Of Perfection appears in the doorway to greet the newly-awakened Frodo.

Er, where was I? Ah, Lost In Translation, and the reasons I don’t hate it. It’s got great cinematography, and I love the soundtrack because I am Kevin Shields’s bitch for life. To their credit, Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson also do their best with the shallow characters they got stuck with. But none of that affects the basic point that the screenplay is far and away the weakest component of this film, which means the Oscars voters that just gave it Best Original Screenplay must have got something that I didn’t.

I haven’t seen all the films that it beat to this award, but to the writers of Dirty Pretty Things and even Finding freaking Nemo, I say this: you were robbed.

[By the way, if you feel like watching a better movie about lonely souls thrown together by circumstance and forging an unlikely bond, please watch Last Life In The Universe, which is just as beautiful if not more beautiful to watch, and manages to deliver much more likable characters despite both its characters barely being able to communicate with each other in the same language, but which of course wasn’t nominated for any Oscars, given that its director is not Sofia Coppola.]

Even More Un-PC Than Me

I was discussing upcoming holiday plans with Alec, specifically the Eastern Europe part of the trip. We were considering the cost viability of a railpass by trying to see if all the places we wanted to see were actually on good train routes.

Alec: Well, we all know you can definitely get to Auschwitz by train!
Me: ……
Alec: ……
Me: Okay, next topic of conversation.

The Enchanter (Vladimir Nabokov)

Nabokov’s novella The Enchanter is a precursor of sorts to Lolita, but it really does inhabit an immensely foggier area between literature and soft-core pornography than the latter work. Although the basic idea of marrying the nymphet’s mother to gain access to her stays much the same between both books, by the time Nabokov came to write Lolita (The Enchanter was written years before that in Russian and translated only recently into English by his son) “the thing was new and had grown in secret the claws and wings of a novel” – as he puts it so inimitably in the preface.

Basically, I recommend The Enchanter if you:
(a) are a Nabokov junkie; and/or
(b) are a paedophile

Here are some sample passages. The first one’s from page 4, no less. He certainly wastes no time in getting to the point:

“What if the way to true bliss is indeed through a still delicate membrane, before it has had time to harden, become overgrown, lose the fragrance and the shimmer through which one penetrates to the throbbing star of that bliss? Even within these limitations I proceed with a refined selectivity; I’m not attracted to every schoolgirl that comes along, far from it – how many one sees, on a gray morning street, that are husky, or skinny, or have a necklace of pimples or wear spectacles – those kinds interest me as little, in the amorous sense, as a lumpy female acquaintance might interest someone else. In any case, independently of any special sensations, I feel at home with children in general, in all simplicity; I know that I would be a most loving father in the common sense of the word, and to this day cannot decide whether this is a natural complement or a demonic contradiction.”

The next two are considerably more ewww-worthy. After his wife’s sudden death, the protagonist is on a train to her friend’s house, where her daughter had been staying during her illness. He is now the little girl’s guardian.

“Luxuriating in the concentrated rays of an internal sun, he pondered the delicious alliance between premeditation and pure chance, the Edenic discoveries that awaited her, the way the amusing traits peculiar to bodies of different sex, seen at close range, would appear extraordinary yet natural and homey to her, while the subtle distinctions of intricately refined passion would long remain for her but the alphabet of innocent caresses: she would be entertained only with storybook images (the pet giant, the fairy-tale forest, the sack with its treasure), and with the amusing consequences that would ensue when she inquisitively fingered the toy with the familiar but never tedious trick.

Thus they would live on – laughing, reading books, marveling at gilded fireflies, talking of the flowering walled prison of the world, and he would tell her tales and she would listen, his little Cordelia, and nearby the sea would breathe beneath the moon….And exceedingly slowly, at first with all the sensitivity of his lips, then in earnest, with all their weight, ever deeper, only thus – for the first time – into your inflamed heart, thus, forcing my way, thus, plunging into it, between its melting edges…

The lady who had been sitting across from him for some reason suddenly got up and went into another compartment; he glanced at the blank face of his wristwatch – it wouldn’t be long now – and then he was already ascending next to a white wall crowned with blinding shards of glass as a multitude of swallows flew overhead.”

The thing is, even at his worst, Nabokov’s prose in other parts of this book is still head and shoulders over almost anything else I read. I would like to deny The Enchanter the status of “literature” (yes, I realize that word contains multitudes but let’s just use it in its most narrow-minded traditional sense for these purposes, mmmmkay?), but I can’t. Nabokov junkies should read this, because I’m pretty sure it still has a lot of what you like about him. People who have never read Nabokov should not start with this, but buy Lolita pronto. I’m not qualified to advise the paedophiles.

Whoo! Whoo! It’s The Sound Of Da…Disappointment

An open letter to DJ Jazzy Jeff:

This is the second time you’ve done this to me. For the second time, I’ve gone to see you DJ at Zouk and you’ve taunted me cruelly with only the opening of KRS-One’s Sound Of Da Police but none of the verses.

The first time, I tried to tell myself it was the cool way to do DJ sets – drop some obviously famous beats so that the crowd will go wild with recognition, but then switch to something else more obscure fairly fast so you don’t look like you’re just playing a The Best Hip-Hop Album In The World, Evah! compilation. And to a certain extent, this often works for me quite well. I no longer feel the need to “Jump around! Jump around! Jump up jump up and get down! Jump! Jump! Jump! etc.” but I’m still happy enough to dance to the first verse.

The problem, and of course this is totally subjective, is that what applies to Jump Around doesn’t apply to Sound Of Da Police, okay? Hearing the intro is simply not enough. I demand KRS-One’s righteous bellow of “STAND CLEAR! Don man a-talk, you can’t stand where I stand you can’t walk where I walk. WATCH OUT! We run New York, police man come we bust him out of the park!”, I long to be in a club full of people gabbling that meld from “oberseer” to “officer” in the second verse, and as he ends the third verse with “My grandfather had to deal with the cops, my great-grandfather dealt with the cops, and then my great great great great…” hell yeah I want to join in and complete the line by yelling “WHEN IT’S GONNA STOP??!”

[The fact that I am an affluent yellow girl whose only real encounter with the police ever was making a report when I lost my wallet as a teenager, and that they were really rather nice at the time, should not negate my right to profess undying love for this song. Or even to shout along in simulated rage.]

So please, Jazzy. If I ever see you play again, give us the whole song. You already played your part in inflicting Will Smith on the world, thereby depriving mainstream radio for years of any hip-hop worth listening to. Are you willing to shoulder the blame for this further cruelty?

Take Heed, ‘Cause I’m A Lyrical Poet

I attended two events at Wordfeast last week, in an attempt to haul myself back onto the poetry wagon. One was a poetry slam competition, and the other was a conventional reading.

I wish I could enthuse about how they rekindled my poetic mojo, and how I will be bounding up to mics in the future to spreadeagle my words for the world, but I unfortunately find myself in the bollockless position of having mixed reactions to it all.

My first problem is that I was quite often very bored. Look, I know this probably crosses some poetry-writers’ solidarity line in the sand, but a lot of poetry can just be boring when read out loud, even if it works well enough on the page. This is especially so when the poem is long and the voice is monotonous. I don’t care if it’s recognized some day as the Paradise Lost of 2003, I’m still going to have to say my first experience with it was far from edifying.

My second is that I was quite often very frustrated. A lot of poems that sounded like I could have enjoyed them were so badly delivered by their authors as to render them a waste of breath. I know it can’t be helped that not all good poets are good performers. And I’m not insisting the whisperers, mumblers, droners and mic-dummies of this world be barred from reading their own poetry out loud. I’m just pointing out that with some practice in the relevant skills, or alternatively roping in a competent friend to do it for you, the jump in appreciation for the listener can be so significant as to make it well worth considering if you want your presence there to be even worthwhile. The most transcendental experience I have ever had with a poetry reading was in the shabby basement of my hall of residence in London, where my hallmate James read Seamus Heaney’s Death Of A Naturalist so evocatively that for a moment I almost truly believed myself to be surrounded by vengeful frogs.

My third problem is that in response to the now-obvious heckle of “Well why don’t you go on up and show everyone how to do it properly then, smartass?” I must admit that although I think I’m all right at reading poems out loud, I think my own stuff is decidedly mediocre. So I’m not quite ready to assume the mantle of Poetry Reading Saviour of Singapore either.

My fourth problem is that every time I get bored, I am consumed by the urge to go up there and recite Ice Ice Baby with great feeling. I held back at Wordfeast because I felt it would be fairly rude to consciously lower the tone of the event, and also because it might be seen as poking fun at some of the less successful attempts at rhyming poems. But some day I fear it will overcome me.

Check Your Headmusic

I have a bad feeling about this. The last time a song was in my head so continuously, I ended up walking down the street not realizing I was singing Wave Of Mutilation out loud.

I really don’t want to burst out into a rousing chorus of “Fuck you you ho, I don’t want you back” in the middle of Chinese New Year family visits.

St Synchronicity

The two books I’m reading at the moment are 100 Years of Solitude (re-reading) and Life And Times Of Michael K.

In 100 Years Of Solitude, a plaster statue of St Joseph left by an unknown visitor at the Buendia house is found to be full of gold coins. For years after that, Ursula, the matriarch of the family, insists on asking every visitor to the house whether they once left a plaster statue of St Joseph there. She has hidden the coins to keep them safe for their owner, and steadfastly refuses to reveal where they are to anyone else.

13 pages into Life And Times Of Michael K, a plaster statue of St Joseph has been stolen from a charitable mission building, now devastated by an outbreak of looting and disorder.

The A-Z Of Obsession

I don’t usually bother with memes, but this one about choosing your favourite musicians from A to Z (from largehearted boy and previous sources) is fun, if agonizing. The distribution of great bands across letters of the alphabet is so cruelly uneven!

A: And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead
B: Beck
c: Calla
D: Bob Dylan
E: Missy Elliott
F: Fugazi
G: Grandaddy
H: David Holmes
I: Interpol
J: Michael Jackson
K: Knifehandchop
L: Low
M: Mogwai
N: Neutral Milk Hotel
O: Outkast
P: Pixies
Q: Queen
R: Radiohead
S: Sonic Youth
T: Amon Tobin
U: U2
V: Velvet Underground
W: Wilco
X: Xiu Xiu
Y: Yo La Tengo
Z: Zwan

The list of honourable mentions which only narrowly lost out to these is so long I gave up typing it halfway.