One Liners + Poetry Jumble

Newsmax.com’s daily updated archive of one-liners from late night American talk show monologues is an invaluable service to the Lenoless and Conancraving worldwide. Continuing in the vein of shallow low-brow things that I unashamedly enjoy, I watch these on cable in Singapore, and was sorely missing them last night when I lost ten minutes of my life to Jonathan Ross and his mission of boredom.

The U.S. military says that even though Osama bin Laden may have left Afghanistan, they will continue to bomb as long as Geraldo is there. – Leno
If you don’t laugh, that means the terrorists have won. – Leno
The Olympic Torch completed its 13,000-mile journey tonight in Utah. Unfortunately, local Mormons thought the torch was a cigarette butt and stomped it out. – Conan
Next week on Sesame Street they are going to air a series of shows to explain the war on terrorism to kids. That’s a good idea. This also explains why Oscar The Grouch is being held in a trash can on Guantanamo Bay. – Conan
Happy New Year! If you’re watching this at home, you are having one lame party! – Conan
Osama bin Laden is planning a televised suicide. I call that hosting the Academy Awards. – Letterman

Rather less low-brow is plagiarist.com, which has a pretty damn fantastic range of poetry available, including many favourites I haven’t put up here [my old site] yet.

Try some e.e. cummings if you never have, and even if you have make sure you’ve read these:

Variation On The Word Sleep and Postcards are Margaret Atwood discoveries which remind me I really must go buy some of her poetry, despite not always being keen on her prose (loved A Handmaid’s Tale, abandoned Alias Grace, am somehow completely uninterested in A Robber Bride).