Goodbye Barbados

Apologies for recent silence. After lovely weekends away (we went here and you must too!) one tends to come back to earth with a resounding kaboom.

I’m reading Jane Kenyon, and while the Malvern Hills are far from Barbados (literally, ha ha smack), and even though the student life I return to in my Bloomsbury flat in the heart of my beloved London is far from torturous, this stanza still struck a chord:

“Goodbye Barbados – goodbye water, hiss
and thunder; scented winds; clattering palms;
stupefying sun and rum; goodbye turquoise,
pink, copen, lavender, black and red.
Tonight another couple will sleep in our bed.”
– from Leaving Barbados, Jane Kenyon

The Rain In Spain Falls Mainly On The Irish Plain

The holidaying this year was rather different from last year. Ireland with my parents was pleasantly luxurious even if immensely trying at times. I’d forgotten how nice it is not having to share a room with 25 other backpackers and their assorted smells and nocturnal burblings, and the parental food budget was certainly far more nourishing than mine usually is. The tradeoff for this luxury was having to toe the tourist trail line – service staff treating us with an air of contemptuous sufferance, gimmicky stops like Blarney Castle, and way too much colcannon.

But the tour had its moments. At the Bunratty Castle medieaval banquet thingy (also gimmicky but fairly fun), my mother, in mead-filled merriment, started telling the guy in tights how gorgeous he was; later, when he announced to the “guests” that bands of roving brigands were apparently heading for the castle to rape and pillage, she exclaimed “Oh, goody!” I buried my face in my hands and surreptitiously finished off the rest of the mead.

On a guided tour it is easy to begin to take for granted the fact that there will be a roof over your head at night. In light of this, Spain with Alec was indeed a change, given that the only things we booked in advance were air tickets. In trying to find accomodation we therefore soon became very familiar with certain Spanish phrases, most of them ranging from completo to completo, fuck off. But all hiccups were ultimately muddled through without having to resort to “romantic” nights on the beach or me pretending to be pregnant with the next Christ, so all turned out well in the end, yay us.

One More Year

I went to Germany feeling extraordinarily low; protracted showers and sleeps over a too-brief weekend hadn’t been enough to combat the accumulated dust and disorientation of moving out of my comfort zone of 2 years, and remaining rebel elements in my lungs were still mounting the occasional tubercolotic (that’s probably not even a word, but you know what I’m getting at) revolution. I felt residually gritty and somehow off-kilter, like a bad photocopy of myself.

I returned from Germany yesterday and it feels like everything has changed. I had a pretty damn fabulous holiday with my pretty damn fabulous best friend, which will hopefully be written about soonish. I found out two wonderful pieces of news – one, that I got first class honours in my degree, two, that my scholarship organization will let me take advantage of this by sponsoring me for a Masters (which means another year before they have to pull me kicking and screaming from London back to Singapore).

For the first time in a while there is certainty, and optimism that can finally be more than just cautious. It’s sunny today. I’m feeling good in my skin.

Circus Hostel, Berlin

Another very short update: am in Berlin with Russ, in a youth hostel so amazingly posh (Circus Hostel) I think I may actually emerge cleaner from the showers than when I went in. The weekend involved moving my life out of the hall I’ve lived in for 2 years – it was stressful and more than a little sad. I slept for 15 hours on Saturday night, when it was all over. And I fear that’s all I can write for now, on expensive Internet access. The cleansing showers await.

Christmas/New Year 2002

It’s been two weeks of unprecedents.

Unprecedented bicep pain from clinging on to the rope pull before I was good enough to go down chairlift-served slopes (just one day, thank God). Unprecedented cccccold on chair lifts at 4.30 pm, trying for one last run after the sun had gone down. Unprecedented amount of disgust at the gaudy ski suit I’d borrowed – didn’t feel like incurring expenses for an activity I wasn’t sure I’d like enough to do again, but now I wish I’d gone ahead and bought one, given the twin factors of that suit’s grossness and my reasonably high fun-levels while skiing. (Many thanks to Russ for yet another stint as personal communications assistant/general tech support to Michelledom in my absence.)

Unprecedented girliness: sharing a room with four girly girls, going mad shopping in Andorra la Veille, massive stripping session in said room with said girls after said shopping trip while gleefully showing each other our purchases and trying on other people’s.

Unprecedented loss of restraint at post-Christmas CD sales back in London. From Virgin: And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside Out (Yo La Tengo), Carboot Soul (Nightmares On Wax), Black Sunday (Cypress Hill), Suzuki (Tosca), USSR: Life From The Other Side (DJ Vadim). From HMV: Trompe Le Monde, Pixies At The BBC, Complete B-Sides (Pixies), Endtroducing (DJ Shadow), Things We Lost In The Fire (Low), Red House Painters’ self-titled, Carpal Tunnel Syndrome (Kid Koala). I so have to return some of these for the sake of my financial sustainability.

Unprecedented amount of missing another person. Unprecedented amount of unhappiness I have caused another person. (Two different people.)

Unprecedented amount of time away from this site. Unprecedented amount of stuff I’ve wanted to write about during that time away now simmering in various headspaces while I try to muster the time and skill (skill more than time, it has to be said) to do it all justice.

I’ll keep trying. I hope you keep reading. Happy New Year.

Out To Ski, Back Soon

In typical Michellian style Michelle has left the country letting only the bare minimum number of people know about it. She asked me to do her a favour of letting you guys know that she’s gone skiing for the week; she’ll be back this sunday.

Happy Holidays.

Russ     russ@btopenworld.com
Personal communications assistant to Michelle. :-)

Amsterdam And Bruges, 2001

Any discussion of Amsterdam really must start with my priest, whose responses to my telling him where I was going ran the gamut from “You dirty slut!” to “Pull yourself together, girrl, and doan’t be goin’ to that city of sin!” (spelling irregularities my attempt to convey his channelling of our Irish housekeeper nun) to “Would you like to borrow a guidebook?”

In hindsight my mid-trip “Hi Mum, I’m in Amsterdam!” phonecall to my mother, who I’d forgotten to tell about my plans, was rather cruel, given that the answers I then gave to her anxious queries could hardly have brought maternal peace of mind eg. “Where are you staying?” “Hostel Kabul”; “Hostel Kabul? Is it safe? Is it full of drug addicts/sex tourists/generally unsavoury characters? Where is it?” “Oh, it’s in the heart of the red light district. It’s quite nice, really, don’t worry…” Sorry, Mum. I probably do this to you too often.

I wasn’t really lying about the hostel. Despite its roach problem (such as me opening my toiletries bag and finding a large roach perched on my toothpaste tube; said roach was given a 5 minute grace period to get the fuck out of there, after which it was unceremoniously hauled out with bare hands and savagely killed) and the fact that from the second night onwards I was the only girl in a 24 person dorm, and the fact that all the men in there with me seemed to be of the resonant snoring variety, despite all this, Hostel Kabul was actually quite all right compared to others I’ve been in. For example, water came out of the shower when you turned it on. This was a plus.

Apart from this, the rest of our (me, Russ) little jaunt involved lots of walking (good) in cold and rain and wind (not so good) with little more than my regularly inverting umbrella (bloody annoying) as protection against this. There were of course the requisite visits to the Anne Frank house, Van Gogh museum, friendly neighbourhood brothels etc., also a day-trip to Bruges, also rambling along the canals, stumbling down narrow wind tunnel streets brandishing umbrellas like shields, Russ chasing his umbrella down one such street, me laughing like crazy until my umbrella promptly did another topsy-turvy, long-drawn-out dinners that left us the last people in the restaurant, celebrating the phenomenon that is the Michelle-Russ dynamic, me making a silent promise to myself and him that things will not change (at least not much) in the light of recent developments in my life, that we will not lose this.

Stereotypical souvenir shopping: Belgian chocolates for hall priests, nun and Mark (Mark got “Woodies”, I obviously chose something different for the clergy), Royal Delft blue and white pattern teacup for mum, advocaat for me and Avril. Considered an inflatable doll for Alec, decided this was possibly not the best gift to give a significant other/boyfriend/whatever, even if he did once send me a tape of a song called Pussy-Pussy-Cat.

All in all, an exceptionally good Reading Week, but I really am determined now to slog for a bit and put in some hours in the library until Christmas. I needed to do this, but now I need to do that.

Last Hours In Athens

Killing time in the cybercafe before dinner and the airport in a few hours – it’s been a slow, leisurely day. Acropolis in the morning, my last souvlaki lunch in Monastiraki, shopping in Ermou, stocking up on reading material for my long night at the airport (Heart of Darkness, and I’m still looking for the latest Economist), lazing in a cafe, and now here, feeling the last dregs of this holiday ebb away, faintly worried about the jurisprudence essay I was supposed to have written this summer, and still feeling excruciatingly out of touch with recent world events. But Ken does do an amazing job of reading my mind with regard to moral high grounds being pretty bloody empty, “bloody” used deliberately.

Greece: Athens, A Blip

Back in Athens, my base till I leave early on Sunday morning. Yan Yan leaves tonight for California. I’ll probably go to Delphi tomorrow, and finally get myself to the Acropolis on Saturday. It should all go well.

Hey, maybe I’ll ask the Oracle who sent me that Crushlink email…

Greece: Santorini, A Blip

I’m in Santorini, Greece, now. I feel guilty in this hedonism, given the anguish that others are suffering elsewhere. When you’re on holiday and cut off from world news, accepting the reality of tragedies like this recent one is even harder.

I still don’t even know if Billy, Yish, Michelle and all my friends in uni at Columbia are all right.