’09 Refine

I had a look at last year’s New Year post, and was glad to see that I didn’t do too badly on following through with the resolutions. I made a fair bit more jewellery than the initial experiments I posted here, redesigned this blog, significantly upgraded my photo post-processing skills, opened a better savings account than my lousy POSB one, made a small low-risk investment and am considering a few more, and improved my insurance coverage. But sadly, I’m not sure whether I succeeded in exercising more, and if I did it was marginal.

The 2008 I was looking forward to also lived up to my expectations. It was a slightly indulgent and inward-looking year, admittedly, because I just loved spending time with Alec in our home and felt a little less motivated to go out. The downside of this is that I probably indulged the lazy introvert in me a bit too much and socialized less than is good for me; the upside is that when I did go out I enjoyed the events and good company to the full without feeling jaded, drained or financially stressed.

In 2009, apart from not totally falling off the wagon for last year’s resolutions, I’d like to:

  1. Get better at this DJ thing: I’ve got the turntables, am waiting for the mixer I want to arrive in January, and once that’s here I will practice practice practice!
  2. Re-establish contact with long-distance friends I’ve been terrible at keeping in touch with: Although my life is blissful, it doesn’t make for interesting email fodder so I put off writing emails because I feel bored stiff by my own writing. And although I would love to know how my friends are doing, it feels lazy to keep asking if I can’t even be bothered to reciprocate with something substantial about myself. My strategy going forward will be to start with shorter, more random, but more numerous emails in the hope that this will at least be an improvement from my previous paralysis.
  3. Take better control of my sleep: I am a night person and can’t change myself into a morning person, but I can certainly stop staying up late surfing aimlessly when I’m not even absorbed in anything I’m seeing, and I can also stop lying in bed till noon on weekends out of sheer inertia rather than real tiredness. I’m really reluctant to adopt this resolution, to be honest, because it feels like growing up – but there it is.

Pretty Good Year

My mother started 2008 in hospital with dengue fever, so until she was discharged yesterday I really didn’t have the mental wherewithal for any sort of goodbye 2007, hello 2008 blog entries. It was as much as I could do to monitor her condition, do what was necessary at work for a lotsamillion$ deal we signed yesterday, and fill the gaps in between with especially escapist TV.

In any case, it’s pretty obvious that getting married to Alec was the best thing that happened to me in 2007. He started 2008 by spending hours keeping my mum company in hospital (he’s starting a new job soon and had a few days free) and cooking me lovely dinners when I came home at night exhausted from stress. I will cut the mush because I’ve already given you enough of that before, but I am continually amazed at how I managed to luck out with this man.

I’m looking forward to the year ahead. I loved our wedding and it was totally worth all the planning hassle, but ironically one of the best things about finally being married is that we now have far more time and energy to devote to our individual hobbies, which of course also includes ridiculing each other about the lameness of said hobbies. Also reading, which is the perfect excuse to ignore each other entirely, and TV, which allows us to pretend we are spending quality time together when we actually are not. Marriage rocks, guys.

Every time I resolve in writing here to do something I inevitably fail to do so, but I think sharing these three things will be safe enough. I’ve already started on the first two, and the third is so wimpy that it is a cop-out from any actual brave resolution-making.

  1. Make more stuff with my imagination and hands:
    The Internet’s record of the crafting renaissance suggests that being inept and mediocre at this doesn’t discourage lots of other people. Inspiring!
  2. Become less financially clueless:
    Because continuing to let my life savings languish in a POSB savings account seems really, really, stupid.
  3. Exercise more than I did in 2007:
    This is easy, because I did fuck-all in 2007.

What are your resolutions, if any? (If they are actually worthwhile and will make me look pathetic, please don’t share them.)

Feeling Bullish

It begins again, but surprisingly, I don’t feel the need to say “too soon”.

I still emerge from the torturous number 10 bus to/from NUS feeling like Rip Van Winkle. I still wander around campus feeling translucent and disconnected, as if hoping my real university will come one day to rescue me and take me home.

But none of it is feeling as bad as it did. My Tuesday evening class in Corporate Finance Law actually looks like it will be interesting. Admittedly, during this morning’s excruciatingly boring Evidence lecture I was attached to consciousness only by an increasingly brittle thread, and view my even earlier starts on Thursday and Friday with justifiable trepidation, but even here I am trying to Make The Best Of Things and am hoping this might force my body clock into something less like a prostitute’s.

I’ve found out I got a better grade in last semester’s moot course than about half the people who got into the teams I viewed as more prestigious. This challenges the assumptions underlying a lot of my previous angst about letting myself down through bad performance.

Ming + FS’s Hell’s Kitchen sounds awesome from my new speakers. That has absolutely nothing to do with university but let’s be holistic here.

Most importantly, I’m finally coming round to the view that it has all been, and will be, for the best.

In hindsight, there is almost nothing I would be willing to exchange for the 16 days I could devote to being with Alec when he was here – a freedom that would simply not have been possible if I’d got on the moot team I originally wanted. Distance is still a bitch, but over the next few months it will hopefully become our bitch now that Alec’s going to get broadband.

For the first time in years, I’ve bothered with New Year’s resolutions. Going lindy-hopping again, improving my bowling score, learning to drive, keeping in touch with friends, drinking equal amounts of pure water for all other drinks I have, and taking positive steps to combat my eczema seem realistic enough, and will all make me much happier in Singapore if acted upon.

In the meantime, there are Chinese karaoke songs to perfect, (apparently) a dirt cheap bar in Suntec City to enjoy with Terry and other like-minded lushes, a poetry festival in the offing, rare Múm mp3s available for download on their site, and a beloved boyfriend to call, right now, in fact. Peace out.

Early New Year’s Resolutions

Based on the events of the past few days:

  • I will stop going for tutorials a week late.
  • I will stop going for aforesaid tutorials unprepared, although I realize this is ultimately of no consequence given that I am a week late.
  • I will bother to set my alarm clock(s) for Wednesday mornings, when I have to meet the priests to choose hymns for Sunday. I feel exceptionally rude keeping the clergy waiting and then turning up in pyjamas.
  • I will buy gloves I like instead of going gloveless and freezing due to reluctance to wear my murderer ones.
  • I will never buy Tesco’s vile soya milk again in attempts at health. Self-induced nausea cannot be healthy.
  • I will find music to listen to while studying that is neither so catchy that I end up singing along and bouncing off the walls (Dismemberment Plan) nor so soothing that it lulls me to sleep (Galaxie 500). Unfortunately I think this then means Matchbox 20 but they do say suffering is good for the soul.
  • I will teach myself to like healthy snacks like wheatgerm instead of guzzling Kettle Chips (salsa and mesquite flavour).
  • I will uninstall Dope Wars from my computer. I will also stop publicly discussing cocaine prices and the strategic necessity of procuring assault weapons for use against the police.
  • I will stop getting wound up about things that are ridiculously unimportant in the larger scheme of world hunger etc. as well as pretty damn trivial compared to the problems of some of the people around me.
  • I will spend less time writing lists of resolutions and more time actually carrying them out.