My Funky Boyfriend


(At McDonald’s)

Me: Aaaargh! You slop ketchup right onto your fries rather than using a separate ketchup serviette!
Alec: Yeah, why not?
Me: Because your ketchup doesn’t get equally distributed across the fries that way.

Alec: But why does it have to be equally distributed? Using my way, I get 2 possible distributions across the fries. The binomial distribution determines whether a fry gets ketchup or not. And then if there is ketchup, the amount of ketchup the fry gets is in a normal distribution. I’m fine with this.
Me: ……
Alec: What?


(In a conversation about stag parties)

Alec: I don’t have any objections to lap-top dancing.