Mistress Of Puppets (DIY Slogan Tee)

Every now and then I get it into my head that I am capable of doing crafts. While I do possess some of the qualities of a skilled artisan, such as attention to detail and a certain obsessive nature, I inconveniently lack the “art” aspect of the word. But because Pinterest and the various lifestyle blogs I read make it seem as if I, too, can construct my own chic fashion or home accessories from nothing more than sequins, Mod Podge and an upcycled flour sack, I occasionally indulge this delusion a little further than my level of craft artistry can really justify. (This also happens with food, which is why I rarely photograph our delectably-plated repasts of ragout a la leftovers avec priced-to-clear boeuf et fridge-withered cilantro, and when I do attempt to, it …doesn’t end well.)

But I had some time on my hands a while back and freezer paper stencil tees (there are plenty of tutorials online so I won’t do a step-by-step one – here’s a simple guide for anyone else who wants to give it a try) didn’t look like they could be too hard, so I decided it was about time to try dancing with delusion again. I had a plain black Uniqlo tee, white fabric paint, a craft knife, a Daiso cutting mat, a rather underused iron, and some spongy things I bought from Art Friend, so clearly I had everything it took to construct haute couture.

A little background on the slogan, for those rarely about to rock:

After my friend Matt introduced me to the joys of doing this song in karaoke, it’s become one of the staples of my karaoke repertoire. But since people always seem to find it hard to believe that a female might attempt Metallica at karaoke, I thought it would increase my metal cred to make my status clear on a T-shirt. You know, like those fat ugly guys you see wearing “Sex Instructor: First Lesson Free” T-shirts.

Freezer paper stencil

Read on to see if the finished result is more FAIL or FYEAH!

DIY CD Jewel Case Calendar

With most creative projects I start, I either don’t finish them or finish them months or years after a normal person would have. But thankfully, it turns out that even I am not so crap as to postpone finishing a 2011 photo calendar much later than the commencement of the year in question.

I used these templates to make the calendar (they are from a Photoshop Elements site but I can’t imagine they’d be a problem to use with full Photoshop) and followed the easy instructions in this article (direct link to pdf here) to produce a calendar image for each month. Although they recommend you print the photos with 4.75” width for ideal fit in a CD case, it cost me half as much to print them in 6” x 4.5” and accept a slightly looser fit. My office paper slicer came in handy for trimming the long end of the prints off.

Calendar Sheets

I then used these instructions as a reference point for dissembling and reassembling a CD jewel case (sorry to The Donnas’ Spend The Night album, I was just not that into you) into a display rack for the calendar sheets. I’ll use the base of the rack for keeping the sheets for months that have passed.

CD jewel case calendar (side view)

Here it is on my desk at work. The other things there are a photo I took of an industrial machinery “start” button in The Wapping Project (yes, it’s meant to motivate me to start work), and a wind-up Totoro who goes zipping across my desk whenever I get tired of reading shareholder agreements.

CD case calendar on my desk