Stupid Boob Jokes

Given that life without stupid boob jokes just isn’t worth living at all for me, it was pretty hard to keep them out of the previous post. I’ve been making them all the way through this stressful process, but ultimately didn’t want them to detract from the serious message I wanted to send.

However, now that I’ve made my point, I think there’s no harm in a little levity. I don’t intend to spend the days till the 20th worrying unduly, and neither should any of you.

So here you are, a few of the Stupid Boob Jokes Deleted From The Previous Serious Post:

  • “FOUR lumps and still so small??!”
  • While doing a pre-op ultrasound scan, my surgeon was telling me what to expect after the operation.
    Surgeon: There will be some swelling, don’t worry if it takes a few months to fully go down.
    Me: Wow, could you operate on the other one too then?
  • Janet Jackson Demonstrates:

    A good way to do breast self-examination

    A bad way to do breast self-examination

  • I think it’s always important to maintain perspective. Breast self-examination is uncomfortable, breast ultrasounds are uncomfortable, breast surgery is uncomfortable, but in the larger scheme of breast-related activities it seems to me from reading dooce’s account that breastfeeding, in contrast, is MOTHERFUCKING AGONY.


  1. I’m sure your boyfriend will be happy to help you do boob examinations. He might even help to make it less uncomfortable.

    If you have no boyfriend, I’m available on an hourly rate. Please book ahead.

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