Strip-Club Defamation

Alec takes issue with my strip-club entry and demands an opportunity to clarify things. I see no reason for this defensiveness on his part. In my opinion the people teasing him about this all just secretly wish they had a boyfriend to go to strip clubs to with too, although I suppose I should make no such conclusions about Fr John.

Nevertheless, he feels besmirched and who am I to deny a good Irish Catholic boy the chance to dredge his reputation up from the muddy gutters it already languishes in?

(Published as received. All mistakes his.)

Michelle I demand that the following be printed in full on your web site.

Following the entry of January 7th, I find position in good society considerably undermined. In my defence……

* I was prompted to consider this entertainment by a friend (who shall remain nameless).

* Rather than show my distain outright and attach my friend’s moral shortcomings, I started to ruminate a more edifying scheme. Soon I had resolved that it would be more educational for my friend to be confronted not just by my own moral ire but also by the prospect of Michelle’s company throughout the performance. I pictured the scene thus; (friend sitting at table staring at stage with vacant, lecherous stare. Enter Alec and Michelle. Friend joyfully welcomes Alec to his world of filth. At this moment he recognises Michelle. I volunteer to purchase the drinks and exit stage right while friend is left to squirm, uncomfortably and make awkward chit chat with Michelle. Soon after friend is overcome by embarrassment and requests that we move to a more respectable venue)

* May I add that at this point the scheme was merely an amusing fancy which I mentioned to Michelle for our mutual amusement. However Michelle took to the scheme with an enthusiasm which was on the one hand, very worrying, but on the other quite infectious.

* The plan eventually came to nothing because the ‘club’ ceases performances at midnight. Anyone who knows Michelle will understand why this is a problem. As an aside may I suggest that any club which closes doors at midnight can only be mildly debauched.

* That evening was instead spent watching Austin Powers: the Spy who Shagged Me – and I’d didn’t feel at all disappointed.

In the last few days my good name has been dragged through the mud. Everywhere I go people make inquiries about this particular date and smile and wink and whisper behind my back. I have even had interested inquiries from my parish priest. Enough! I ask you the readers of this site to respond to this slander against my character my inundating this website with emails saying ‘Morally vindicated’.Michelle should not be allowed to use this site to spread half truths and lies just to satisfy the vulgar, sensationalist, tabloid interests of her readers (i.e. Mark).