Return Of The Matt

Matt is here for his 3rd visit! Almost exactly a year ago, he helped Alec throw me a surprise birthday party and firmly established himself as my favourite male karaoke singer. Six months later he did us the honour of co-MCing our wedding, and in another karaoke session, gave me the first sign from God (2 more signs soon followed but that’s another blog entry) that I must learn to sing Master of Puppets as the next crucial stage of my karaoke journey.

This visit, I’m really happy we’ve finally been able to relax and have fun with him without needing to juggle lots of other stuff. Also, I love taking photos of Matt because they always come out as great records of good times had. Conversely, when I take photos of myself and/or Alec, our presence manages to suck all life and spontaneity out of the photo, leaving a photogenic void nearly as repulsive as Lemon Blowjob Face girls.

Here is Matt in Singapore’s most ludicrously OTT bar.

They don’t let you take photos unless you’re taking photos of your friends, and my surreptitious photos really didn’t do it justice, but let’s just say the bar at Parkview Square has just earned its place on Michelle’s Tours Of The Singapore Lots Of Tourists Don’t See But Which Is Freaking Hilarious And Way More Fun Than Clarke Quay (estab. 2003 with rave reviews ever since).

Here is an action shot of Matt playing my favourite minigolf. (I WON YAYYYY!)

Here is the squid Matt MADE, which by sheer coincidence happens to be a perfect companion for Ugly. I have named him Squgly. (OK, this isn’t technically a picture of Matt, but Squgly and Ugly are also way more photogenic than Alec and me, so why not.)

Unfortunately, I didn’t take any photos during karaoke this time because it was very civilised. But you may enjoy this one instead from last year’s birthday karaoke chaos. (Photo visible only to my Flickr friends i.e. anyone who knows me in real life and adds me as a Flickr friend, because I don’t want people to recognize me through recognizing my husband. Though it is true that in the photo, Alec pretty much looks like Matt’s husband.)


  1. Haha Matt has locked himself in! I didn’t think Parkview was open unless you were a businessman in a suit and dripping with money and had an “in”. Don’t tell me you just strolled in off the street and took a seat?

  2. We did – I was dressed exactly as I am in the golf photo. Michelle and Alec dressed up a bit, made an effort. If you go, I recommend the Flaming Lamborghini. It comes in two installments.

    And looking at the weather outside, my planned trip to Pulau Ubin was probably best avoided, even if it was through stupidity not wisdom…

  3. I couldn’t see the photos because Flickr is firewalled in my office, but the moment I saw “OTT”, I immediately thought of the bar at Parkview Square… damn, I wish I had gone there when I was back! I was only in there for like 60 seconds before we walked back out.

    And a *two* installment Flaming Lamborghini? That definitely sounds like something I’ve got to try given that’s one of my favourite drinks!

  4. Turns out I was just drinking it wrong, Dominique. You drink the clear bit while it’s still alight, then just as the straw is about to go on fire, you throw in the milky bit and keep drinking as fast as possible. Then you throw up, and Batman ejects you from the building. Then Batman comes back in, gives the lead actress a steely look and says something that could only be construed as romantic if she already knows his secret, and then he fights the bad guy on the roof of the building. If you’re not in Parkview Square, it’s just the same, up until Batman makes his first appearance.

  5. Matt – ha ha! My bad. I guess one of the privileges of being female is that the bartender has always taken care of pouring the milk in while I drink (which is why I don’t think of a Flaming Lambo as coming in two parts). I’m guessing this must have been your first time drinking it? I remember the first time I drank one, everyone watching (and whom I did not know, I might add) applauded because females don’t usually drink it… at least, back when I was young.

    You’ve spoiled it for me, Matt. Parkview Square will never live up to my expectations now, thanks to your story.

  6. I should add that as we were sitting inside drinking, Matt noticed a cat walking around outside. If you’re lucky, instead of Batman ejecting you from the building after you throw up, the cat just transforms into a skin-tight-leather-clad woman and humiliates you sexually.

  7. “The cat just transforms into a skin-tight-leather-clad woman and humiliates you sexually.”

    I wouldn’t mind that actually, humiliation or otherwise. It’s the closest I’ll ever get to a sexual encounter anyway.

    Why don’t you bring me to these places when I come visit?! It’s always the hawker centre!

  8. James: Yeah, I read some excerpts and thought they were pretty good. But I won’t be converting to lolcatholicism until they supplement the lolcat bible with appropriate pictures – surely this is key.

    Benny: Fine, fine, next time we will bring you to the most sordid, disgusting experiences Singapore has to offer! Just give us a few days’ notice before you arrive so that Alec can give his spandex shorts a bit of a wash.

Comments are closed.