Random summer-based meanderings

Random summer-based meanderings:

• If you’re fat, for God’s sake dress to suit your shape. Fat legs in short skirts are repulsive. I know some angry fat person is going to chew me out for this, and say everyone should be able to wear whatever the hell they want and comments like mine are exactly the sort that perpetuate unhealthy body images in women etc. but yo, I have a flat chest and a big arse, so I don’t wear cleavage-baring tops or hotpants, it’s that simple.
• Why are people in Tube station lifts unable to understand the principles of proper lift-space distribution? The people who enter first are virtually lolling around on deckchairs while the people who enter last have to become intimately acquainted with each other’s bodily crevices. Not nice on a hot day.
• Do you think I could rig up superhuge loudspeakers on hot-air balloons all over London and play Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger simultaneously on all of them just so everyone could experience its stereo perfection, and possibly it would stimulate the economy with its inspirational message or at the very least have everyone doing the robot? No? Cynics.