Never Again

Never again. Never again. I just walked such a fine line between skin-of-my-teeth punctuality and disastrous tardiness for handing in my course essay that the soles of my feet are still bleeding, and I have to go return the lamp post I stole for a balancing pole.

I’m obviously exaggerating, and not in a particularly amusing way, but I’m still reeling from the experience. With this essay, I would have taken procrastination and apathy to new heights, but I never got round to bothering. Five days just got wasted producing an essay I’m not at all satisfied with, and I still ended up making a desperate, panting and flailing entrance into the law faculty at three minutes past five, which meant I then had to grovel before they’d accept it.

This is not how an intelligent person does things.