My Funny Valentine

There are worse ways to spend Valentine’s Day than waking up to lilies delivered by Alec, going out later that evening to meet Terry for dinner and cocktails on the NUSS terrace balcony, then being presented with even more lilies, going home to videoconference with Alec, and finally arranging my big combined lily bunch in a vase before going to sleep. There really are.

[In case it looks like I’m two-timing someone somewhere, rest assured that I’m not. I’m merely lucky enough to have a great guy friend in Terry who knows how to treat girls but doesn’t have any designs on me, a secure boyfriend in Alec who knows how much he is loved and therefore has no problems with my multitudes of close male friends, and the very pleasant coincidence between Alec and Terry of good taste in flowers.]

And that’s not all. Those of you who’ve been reading this site for a while may remember Bellagio, the inflatable, anatomically correct sheep Alec presented to me one night in Italy. When I had to leave for Singapore, we decided Bellagio would stay with Alec, since I didn’t think my mother would be particularly receptive to her charms, and she’d have lots of sheep friends in Ireland anyway. (There was, of course, the mild possibility that the other sheep could ostracize her due to her inflatable nature, but we hoped showing them her orifice would be proof enough of her essential sheepness.)

So as a charming epilogue to this tale of Valentine’s bliss, Alec, ever romantic, decided to show me just how much he appreciated the planter full of spring flowers I’d sent him. The best way of doing this, he thought, was by sending me a photo of Bellagio, posing shyly next to the planter, with a trowel in her fanny.


  1. Did Alec take that photograph digitally? If it’s an analogue, I wonder what the photo developer thought of that one whilst doing Alec’s batch of photos.

  2. “…blah, blah, blah , so you won’t mind it I go out for dinner with Terry on Valentine’s will you?”

    I gritted by teeth, but on my sweetest tone and said, “Of course not dear, I trust you completely. Just have lots of fun”

    The same privelages don’t extend to you Terry. Give my bird flowers of Valentines would you. Next time I’m in Singapore I’m taking you out for a meal of knucle sandwich. I’m opening a can of whoop ass and its got your name all over it. Don’t nobody dis me, in this continent or any other.

  3. Terry: Careful there. I’ll warn you that Alec is a certified yellow tip in Tae Kwon Do and has 2 months boxing experience.

    Alec: shizzle my nizzle, dog.

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