Johnny Be Adulterous

While we’re still being frivolous and lusty (music posts which take themselves entirely too seriously are IMMINENT, be warned), this is from last night, out of nowhere.

Alec: I must say, if you ever meet Johnny Depp, full permission. Total green light. I admit he’s really hot.
Me: And you waited an entire 24 hours [the time elapsed since the combined sensuality of Johnny and a Scottish accent writ large in the Finding Neverland trailer reduced me to a babbling horny wreck even before the movie about sex research] to tell me this? I could be on a plane now!

Addendum: From earlier tonight –
Me: I did a blog entry about how you’ll let me cheat on you with Johnny Depp.
Alec: You do realize I’d cheat on you with Johnny Depp too, right?

One thing is leading to another. Next thing we’ll both be on a plane in hot pursuit of a threesome with Johnny Depp. Poor Johnny.


  1. One of Pat’s mom’s friends once peered at him, paused and went “ I know who you look like! That actor…Johnny Depp!” Leaving me to choke, splutter and yell “??? BLASPHEMY! I SHOULD BE SO LUCKY!”

  2. When at boring accountancy class in Kings Cross, I was forced to pop out for a sandwich to break up the stuffiness of the environment [in Kings X, imagine!]. While waiting for the sandwich, a sort-of good looking guy, a little on the skinny side walked in and lounged nervously in the corner. When being served, he was all shift and whispered his order really quickly. I only noticed this because I was indiscreetly peering at him to try and place why he looked familiar. After a while, it hit me! He looked like the love-God-who-walks-amongst-us-mortals, Mr. Depp.

    T: James, don’t you think that if Johnny Depp was real and buying a panini in Kings Cross, he’d look like that guy?

    J: Nah…

    2 days later, all the papers rave about Depp at the premiere of Finding Neverland. IT COULD’VE BEEN HIM! I COULD’VE SHARED AIR WITH JOHNNY DEPP IN A DINGY SANDWICH BAR!!

    [unlikely, but till semi-erotic]

  3. He has a house in London. A friend of mine delivered his sofa once. So thee’s no reason he couldn’t be buying sandwiches in King’s Cross. And if Keith Richards happened to be there at the time, all the more reason. He’d be researching for his forthcoming role as (Cpt) Jack Sparrow in the sequel.

    Wait, this friend of mine knows where he lives…. Hmmm, and flights from S’pore are only

  4. The first exposure I ever had to anything risque was when I was with Eric Khoo in a bar and his friend was relating how he read that everyone is at least 2% bisexual. And he (the friend) then mentioned Johnny Depp as the guy he would go for if he had the chance. There were mutterings of agreement all round.

    And me? I was just there, wide-eyed and suddenly proud of having been thrust into the adult world. Up till that point, I had never heard anything like that in my life.

  5. Matt – did we read the same review on Pirates? Johnny Depp playing Sparrow as a cockney Keith Richards? I’ve always been struck by just how apt that was…

    Don – lets be honest now, there are a couple of people who would turn anyone (at least 2% bisexual). I have to admit, if Angelina Jolie or Patricia Vasquez turned up on the doorstep/sandwich bar begging for some…

    Kelly – am most impressed with that line and will reserve it for the next potential chance spot. The sandwich bar was pretty good and after what Matt said, I’m stalking it…

  6. Part of why Singaporean women date non-Singaporean men, methinks, is that they’re more likely to make such comments. (Generalising, of course…)

    Sadly, I’d have to be more beautiful than Vanessa Paradis to have a chance with Depp. Their babies must look like demigods.

  7. Tamara – No. Someone told me he actually followed Keith Richards around – gullibly I believed him. But it’s definitley the basis fo rthe character. That and the cartoon character Pepe Le Pew apparently. See this page for some comedy sequel news. Assuming Mcihelle’s site lets me put links in. Otherwise cut and paste.

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