In which I consider bestiality

So much for those brave little remnants of the skin of my teeth.

Now I acknowledge that in deciding to study 5 topics for an exam (Law and Institutions of the European Community, huzzah) where I had to write four essays, I should have been mentally prepared for the prospects of sudden, acute and involuntary incontinence when I looked at my exam paper.

But there I was all the same, staring wildly at an exam paper with no question on gender discrimination, a question on institutional reforms in the Treaty of Nice (Nice? That’s so current it’s actually relevant, so of course I didn’t study it…), and three questions on topics I had actually studied which I suddenly couldn’t remember anything about, and voiding seemed imminent, both of my bladder and my prospects of passing the exam.

I gritted my teeth, and decided to try the three I had some hazy recollection of, and then start making up some law for the fourth essay. Hey, if the European Court of Justice’s been getting away with it for decades, I figured I might as well give it a try.

So I was halfway through my second pile of crap (the essay, I mean the essay), and then the stereotypically bizarre invigilator (think Christopher Lloyd in Back To The Future) said that our lecturer had an announcement to make.

Oh, Margot. I’m sorry for skipping almost every lecture you’ve given. I’m sorry for muttering under my breath about cud regurgitation in the two I did attend. Because when you modified that question to ‘ “The Intergovernmental Conference in Amsterdam or Nice did not achieve its aim of institutional reform.” Discuss’, I could have made passionate love to you at that very moment, laws against bestiality be damned.

I might just have passed this exam. Fingers crossed.