Female Prayer/Male Prayer

Female Prayer:
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who’s not a creep,
One who’s handsome, smart and strong,
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks.
When he says he’ll call, he won’t wait weeks.
I pray that he is gainfully employed
And when I spend his cash, won’t be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door.
Massages my back and begs to do more. Oh!
Send me a man who’ll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to “How big is my behind?”
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And never attempt to hit on my friend. Amen.

Male Prayer:
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store.