Death By Haggis (Burns Day 2002)

The next time I consider agreeing to do a stand-up comedy routine on gender relations, in the crypt of a church, in front of a Christian ecumenical group mostly composed of puritanical American Protestants, who will most likely have large portions of uneaten sheep entrails at their disposal, will somebody please stop me?

Of all the ways there are to die, death by haggis is probably one of the least dignified.

(For anyone who’s mystified as to the occasion I describe above, a little clarity is available here. Just a little, though. My apparent longing for public humiliation remains inexplicable.)