Call Me Matlock

Today at work, I learned how to use the binding machine. I am glad to add it to my repertoire of office machinery, having mastered the fax, scanner and photocopier several weeks ago. Oh, and the giant stapler.

Truly, there are some things I am learning in these challenging 6 months on the cutting edge of legal practice that they don’t teach you in five years of law school.

I’m learning the paper shredder tomorrow.


  1. ah, the binder. have you learnt to remove papers from ring-bound documents yet? =) how about making coffee that doesn’t poison your client? or learning legalspeak in mandarin / hokkien etc. without having said client going – ‘why is your mandarin so crap even though you’re chinese’ or words to that effect.

  2. forgot to add that i still fax/photocopy/scan documents at this stage in my sad legal life.

    *a big wave from wuyuetian*

  3. Well, a year and a half into training over here, it was set in my objectives that I should “master Microsoft Access and build a database capturing the skillset of the team”. I also generally get a lot of “Tamara, will you do this, it’s beyond my Word ability” and “Tamara, you’re good with spreadsheets, could you build some timesheets for us”.

    I thought it would be giving of me to put the entire team on a Microsoft Excel course, so I did. It didn’t help.

  4. One of the more important things I learnt during my practicum, besides learning how to scold kids properly (am still learning), is working the risograph machine and all the other appliances around the staffroom. That included fumbling around and figuring how to refill cartridges (resulting in inky fingers), and shoving incomprehensible odds and ends into unlikely holes wherever I saw fit.

    That kind of training is priceless.

  5. wait till u master the dark arts of the Franking machine then a sith master you will be!!

  6. How exciting! The most interesting thing I’ve learnt as a banker is how to copy something from a pdf document as an image to paste into Word. I’ve yet to learn the art of the binder and the fax. I gotta say though, I really really love those big staplers that goes through amounts of paper you’d never think a normal staple would go through! They have to be the best invention.

    And that Franking machine sounds terribly seductive. I don’t care that I don’t know what a Franking maching is, I just wanna be a-Frankin’!

  7. My photocopying machine has a function that staples and punches holes for you – it rocks!!!

  8. LMD: Thank you very much!

    Wuyuetian: Haven’t learned coffee or multilingual legalspeak. English legalspeak frustrates me enough as it is, muddying up my beautiful English language with convoluted phrasing and sentence structures that are JUST PLAIN WRONG. And yo, I don’t see why you have to do those menial tasks, surely that’s what pupils are for?? :P

    Mayee: I am fascinated with the idea of learning how to scold kids properly. You must tell me about it some day. Yes, I remember the risograph from my months as a relief teacher. I think my former Home Ec teacher tried to teach me to use it, which was pretty much as frustrating for her as teaching me Home Ec was!

    Brian: I haven’t got near the franking machine yet, so I guess I’ll just have to be a patient young Paduan in the meantime. I bet I’ll raise it out of the swamp easily when the time comes though. I am strong in the Force.

    Kelly: I like watching petite little secretaries heaving the giant stapler around and throwing their full body weight on it to force it into the documents. In a totally non-sexual way, of course.

    Rex: You win. That TOTALLY rocks. Except that you’d then miss out on all giant-stapler-related fun.

  9. The photocopier at the GEB when it was still at the Environment Building ALSO had that kind of multitasking photocopier…I used it for a number of editions of A CAPPELLA NOTES after CAP ’95! Hur hur.

  10. So what you’re saying is that this kind of amazing technology was around 10 years ago?!! The achievements of human civilization blow my mind sometimes…

  11. yes, automatic stapling was available 10 years ago, i was there – staring forlornly at those giant canon photocopying machines…

    as for menial tasks – not when you have no pupils as minions to do your work for you. *wink*

  12. *grin* ya, it’s amazing how much you learn about photcopying, stapling etc when you’re working. Strange, how they don’t TELL you these things in school. Oh yes, and my company has a photocopier that multitasks too! :P AND it even has a touchpad! haha…

  13. i OWNS all of you… i’ve mastered the photocopier, scanner, printer and various stapler sizes and i’m ONLY in my second year at Uni. *MUAHAHAHAHAHA*

    what, they must Tell You Things at school in order for you to know them?? open thine eyes and Learn young padawan!!! :P

  14. NOW I know what franking is, and your fingers hurt after you do it btw, especially if you have to frank 100-over-odd envelopes.. heheh, Kelly, franking, I’m afraid, isn’t truly as seductive as you think it is!! ;) Well done, Gracie, but don’t forget – I’m not even in Uni YET! ;p therefore I win. HAHAH…

Comments are closed.