Breathe And Stop

I found myself thrust upon the horns of a dilemma on the bus home after dinner the other night. The bus stank of sweaty teenage boys and BO that had triumphed despite Lynx’s most valiant efforts. On the other hand, after a meal at the Garlic Restaurant, my breath presumably stank too.

And so a challenging question of civic consciousness arose – should I breathe through my mouth or nose? The former would spare me the olfactory assault of Eau de Adolescence, but the latter would spare my surrounding passengers the feeling of sizzling in a wok while awaiting the addition of pak choy and oyster sauce.

I eventually decided in favour of the former. We were all just ingredients in an armpit stew anyway.


  1. usually i breathe out through my mouth then politely breathe it all in through my nose. i guess you can say i walk the middle ground.

  2. I spend all winter thinking ‘I wish it was warmer’, and thinking how jealous I am of people who live on the equator. I’m a bit less jealous now. A little bit.

  3. I’ve just realized, because I somehow didn’t at the time, that the most civic-conscious breathing method would clearly have been to breathe out through my nose and in through my mouth. Feels rather unnatural though.

    Kelly: I’m embarrassed to have to ask because it totally spoils any joke you were making, but you were joking, right?

    Matt: Ha. Come visit and I daresay you’ll become a LOT less jealous. I was about to say your jealousy would evaporate completely, but then I realized that the air’s too humid here for that.

    (Man, after more than 5 years of blogging I still can’t tell which posts will draw comments and which won’t. I never thought anyone would bother commenting on this post! You guys are so inscrutable.)

  4. somehow… i feel stinky after reading your post. ok, so your words did really bring out the life and … scent… of the situation.

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