At Least Nobody Threw Haggis (Burns Day 2002)

At least nobody threw haggis, even at this joke (slightly modified from how it was delivered):

The other day, my friend told me she’d just received a delivery of a dozen red roses from her boyfriend. “I suppose this means I’ll have to be spending the weekend with my legs in the air,” she said. “Surely you have a vase?” I said, bemused.

As I said, at least nobody threw haggis. Small mercies.